rant maybe? not sure...

i am finding myself less and less tolerant of others' complaining. i wonder, "where is my mercy and grace for others?" when all i want to do is direct the whiners to worse things in the world than their petty crap. especially when that petty crap is something that can be changed. i find myself inwardly rolling my eyes when people tell me they "do not have the time" to workout, when they spend hours watching TV or scrolling through facebook. i cringe when people say "eating healthy is so expensive" when they choose to spend their money on other things that either negatively affect their health or eat out at restaurants or fast food or drink expensive coffees or get really big tattoos that cost hundreds of dollars......and then proceed to tell me about their latest diabetes sugar reading that was 200+. i personally, have no tolerance for people who put themselves down but refuse to do anything about it and instead tell ME that i'm getting "too skinny" or "ew, i could never eat that" blah blah blah. i find myself wanting to lose it on people who talk about "God" but really just believe in some santa in the sky and get upset when things don't go their way and blame Him for not doing something about it.

am i claiming perfection here? DEAR HEAVENS HEAR ME WHEN I SAY I AM SO NOT PERFECT!!!!!!! i fail, i get down, i get super anxious about things to the point that my chest tightens and i cannot breathe. i miss workouts, and don't always eat healthy 100% of the time. there are days i do not read my Bible or utter one word in prayer. I SCREW UP. i have about 2-3 trusted people i "complain" to about life when it gets too much and those 2 typically include my mom and my husband. I AM HUMAN! BUT THAT DOES NOT GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO STAY KNOCKED DOWN! i recently got back from a cruise where i ate until i looked like i was nine months pregnant and only worked out one time in 6 days. but i picked my butt right back up this week despite lack of motivation and cravings out of this world, and i'm back to working out at 5:30am and eating clean!
life is killing me right now in some areas but i am not going to talk to everyone and their mothers about it and whine and stay down and fuss and fight and stay stressed. NO, that is not me! life hurts, it's hard...whatever!! i have a BIG BIG God who is way BIGGER than my problems. i recognize the things that are in my control and i change them...and leave the rest to my Father in Heaven.

you want change??!! BE ABOUT CHANGE.....STOP YAPPING YOUR MOUTH AND BE ABOUT CHANGE!!!!!!! eat something healthy, take a walk, open your Bible, start on your knees and pray. just. do. something.