starving

while typing this, i am baking a turkey tenderloin in the oven.

it has been 4 months since i've written on here, and lately i've been inspired to write again. which...may or may not be a good thing. ;) during my hiatus from the proverbial pen and paper aka keyboard, i have thrown myself head first into the fitness world. i work out 6-7 days a week, and am extremley strict on my nutrition. it is a lifestyle, not a diet....and by doing this, i have trained my body to know when i'm hungry, and when i'm not.

i no longer eat when i'm bored, when i feel like snacking, or emotional binge on oreos like i used to. :) i eat when my body tells me it's hungry. and when you work out intensely with weights like i do, sometimes your muscles are the ones that tell you when it's time to eat...not your stomach. it is a hunger that is deep, on the muscular level. a hunger that says, my entire body needs food or i will not be able to even move.

is that starvation? well, technically no. "starvation mode" happens after 24-48 hours of fasting with no water or food at all. but actually starving?? well, i think very few of us reading this have ever experienced real hunger, or wondered where our next meal was coming from.

even at my poorest as a single mother working  3 jobs and eating frito pies to survive, i never worried about when i was going to eat next. i have been to mexico, haiti and africa and i've seen what real food deficit does to the human body. heck, i've been to my local homeless shelter during their grocery give-away day and seen what people in my own community struggle with! people are hungry, starving even....all over the world. some in your own backyard.

i'll never forget attending a nutrition course in college and the instructor speaking of senior citizens who can only afford their medications, so they buy dog food to eat because it's cheaper. needless to say, when one of my daughers says, "i'm starving!" i'm quick to reply with, "no, you're just really hungry."

hungry. starving. thirsty. well, a lot us are okay in those areas right? in today's western culture, we're hungry...we eat, almost immediatley. in other parts of the world, they know that hunger is a part of life. but what about spiritual hunger? how many of us are starving at a spritual level?

can you feel it? that hunger and hole that you can't seem to fill? or maybe the void is filled...but it's devoid of any nutrition? do you feel like something is missing, depressed, a sense of "nothing can satisfy?" are you angry, but don't know why? do you feel emotional or mental pain you can't pinpoint? are you hopeless? afraid? then yes, you're spiritually hungry. maybe even starved.

i know when i experience spiritual hunger and thirst. i have wrong thoughts, (i've not renewed my  mind), i say the wrong things (i've not allowed His Word to infiltrate and tame my tongue), i am weary and irritable (i've not cast my cares upon Him). the only way to feed my spirit is to spend time in God's presence, in His Word and praising Him with a heart of worship. i can feel my physical hunger almost immediatley, but my spiritual hunger is something i only feel when it's too late. but then i can't get enough. of Him, of praise and worship music, of the Bible....i stuff myself with spiritual food until i'm full....but see, then i want more. i'm full, but i keep going back for seconds. i HATE being starved and thirsty spiritually. it is a dangerous place for believers to be...and even more dangerous to be completely empty for non-believers.

Messiah knew what He was talking about when He was telling us how to pray, telling us to be thankful for daily bread. see, back then, it was all a person had was THAT DAY'S supply of food. no refrigerator, just if they could afford food that day, then they got some. if not, no eating. but DAILY BREAD is MORE than our breakfast/lunch/dinner. daily bread is the meat of God's Word, His instructions, His comfort, His wisdom. without it, we'd be starved. we need spiritual food daily to survive just like the food we put in our mouth!!!! and sadly..so many in america are in a state of spiritual-anorexia where they do not feed their spirits. and then we look across the globe, and see hungry people emaciated from no food...and yet so JOYOUS because they believe in God and love Him with everything...they are spiritually full always! that's the kind of fullness i want to know. while we are fat and happy and satiated on food, they are spirtually fat, happy, and satiated on the very bread of God, the Bible.

and now, my turkey tenderloin is done. and my body will be fed. then i will feed my spirit with the Word (i love the Psalms). and i'll go to bed not starving, and not hungry. but what about you?

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6