if you're a girl...okay, if you're a human, you have dealt with drama. and i'm not talking about the kind of drama i thrive off of, i.e. writing/acting/performing drama, i'm talking petty/jealous/stupid drama. you have either A. caused it or B. been the victim. me? well, i've been both and if you're honest with yourself, you have too.
but i also have to fess up that i have been the victim of more than my fair share of petty girl crap. in fact, i still deal with it, except swap the "girl" for "woman." yup, even at age 30 i have woman older than me causing all kind of drama, saying really petty garbage, or just making comments that no one over the age of 10 has any right to say. i know from personal experience many 40 and 50 something year old women in my community who would curl up and die if they went a whole hour without complaining, backstabbing, gossiping, or spewing negativity. unfortunatley, i know from personal experience because i have been the target of more than one incident, more than one petty conversation, more than one hurtful, harsh comment. and it's been that way a good part of my life despite my desire to please everyone, make everyone happy and trying to maintain a sense of "false peace" with people that would rather devour me with their words and accusations than really get to know me.
am i claiming innocence? no..i have definitley played my part in hurting others and by no means am playing the victim card here, but i despise being at odds with someone and try to quickly remedy a problem with someone even if it just means saying sorry when i don't feel i did anything wrong. trash talking someone's appearance (I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!!!!), saying things like "did you hear.....?" and just being petty in general ("why are they such good friends? i feel left out!") make me want to punch a wall. drama definitley brings the violent side out in me apparently.
i read a book a few years ago that had a chapter in it called "sandpaper people." the whole concept was that God allows "sandpaper people" in your life to rub YOUR rough spots out. that they're always reasons that Father puts difficult people in your path. there's always a lesson there and you will walk away "smoother" than you were before if you just surrender and allow the "sandpaper" to do its job.
i never realized how thankful i was for those hard times when my "friends" turned their back on me. i never knew one day i would be grateful, even to this day, for silly women who have hurt me so deeply. without these petty people in my life, i would never know how to guide and lead my oldest daughter with wisdom as she is now 11 and dealing with many of the same issues. recently a few of her friends were upset because she seemed to "like" another friend more than them. they told her she was "causing a big fight" because she chose to jump rope with this other friend instead of swing with them. (yes, true story...and the way my daughter handled it before even coming to me made me so proud)
as we sat there and talked, i was able to really relate to her because even now as an adult, i have women that hate that i'm closer to some friends than they are. or if they feel left out, i get talked about or snide remarks get made my way because i have personal conversations with people that they don't. i have faced the fact that some woman is going to ALWAYS be jealous of something whether it's looks, size, friendships, marriage, children, etc. of another woman. that's just life, and as i was recalling the way some women have treated me personally in the past and recently, i was able to turn to the Word of God and instruct my girl on how to deal with these "sandpaper" people. and then i became grateful, exceedingly, heart-swelling thankful that these people were/are allowed in my life. i give THANKS for the insults, the rude comments, the cold shoulders, the mean attitudes because in that pain lies a deep secret; the secret to show my daughter a world of what NOT to be and how NOT to act.
so thanks petty folks....my daughter will be stronger, wiser, and more mature because of the lessons you have taught me. :)
but i also have to fess up that i have been the victim of more than my fair share of petty girl crap. in fact, i still deal with it, except swap the "girl" for "woman." yup, even at age 30 i have woman older than me causing all kind of drama, saying really petty garbage, or just making comments that no one over the age of 10 has any right to say. i know from personal experience many 40 and 50 something year old women in my community who would curl up and die if they went a whole hour without complaining, backstabbing, gossiping, or spewing negativity. unfortunatley, i know from personal experience because i have been the target of more than one incident, more than one petty conversation, more than one hurtful, harsh comment. and it's been that way a good part of my life despite my desire to please everyone, make everyone happy and trying to maintain a sense of "false peace" with people that would rather devour me with their words and accusations than really get to know me.
am i claiming innocence? no..i have definitley played my part in hurting others and by no means am playing the victim card here, but i despise being at odds with someone and try to quickly remedy a problem with someone even if it just means saying sorry when i don't feel i did anything wrong. trash talking someone's appearance (I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!!!!), saying things like "did you hear.....?" and just being petty in general ("why are they such good friends? i feel left out!") make me want to punch a wall. drama definitley brings the violent side out in me apparently.
i read a book a few years ago that had a chapter in it called "sandpaper people." the whole concept was that God allows "sandpaper people" in your life to rub YOUR rough spots out. that they're always reasons that Father puts difficult people in your path. there's always a lesson there and you will walk away "smoother" than you were before if you just surrender and allow the "sandpaper" to do its job.
i never realized how thankful i was for those hard times when my "friends" turned their back on me. i never knew one day i would be grateful, even to this day, for silly women who have hurt me so deeply. without these petty people in my life, i would never know how to guide and lead my oldest daughter with wisdom as she is now 11 and dealing with many of the same issues. recently a few of her friends were upset because she seemed to "like" another friend more than them. they told her she was "causing a big fight" because she chose to jump rope with this other friend instead of swing with them. (yes, true story...and the way my daughter handled it before even coming to me made me so proud)
as we sat there and talked, i was able to really relate to her because even now as an adult, i have women that hate that i'm closer to some friends than they are. or if they feel left out, i get talked about or snide remarks get made my way because i have personal conversations with people that they don't. i have faced the fact that some woman is going to ALWAYS be jealous of something whether it's looks, size, friendships, marriage, children, etc. of another woman. that's just life, and as i was recalling the way some women have treated me personally in the past and recently, i was able to turn to the Word of God and instruct my girl on how to deal with these "sandpaper" people. and then i became grateful, exceedingly, heart-swelling thankful that these people were/are allowed in my life. i give THANKS for the insults, the rude comments, the cold shoulders, the mean attitudes because in that pain lies a deep secret; the secret to show my daughter a world of what NOT to be and how NOT to act.
so thanks petty folks....my daughter will be stronger, wiser, and more mature because of the lessons you have taught me. :)
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