the dump truck swerved quickly to the left and before i knew it, i was jerking my steering wheel over not looking for other traffic in the lanes, but only concentrating on getting calli, my 6 year old who sits in the back on the passenger side, out of harm's way. surely this huge vehicle was going to hit us on her side, and hit us hard.
but it didn't. i jerked my car over and slammed on my brakes, throwing my purse and our bodies forward in a lurching motion, as i honked at the driver and screamed, "ARE YOU F*!#($*#(%u&# KIDDING ME?" yes, i said the word, the "f" word...apparentley being terrified for your childrens' lives will do crazy things to a momma's mind and mouth. we all sat there, i couldn't even move....frozen in fear of what could have just happened, and yet shaking uncontrollably from the adrenaline rush that threatened me to tears. but i didn't cry, nope, not a tear. i put my blinker on, moved back over into the lane, and kept on going. no one spoke for the next 3 mintes until we reached our destination.
that happened tonight; about 5 hours ago to be exact. it was a close call, too close for comfort, but it packed a big lesson....
you know, i love how big my God is! i love that He personalizes, confirms, and ties together things for me...and even more so when my daughters are involved!!! let me rewind a bit for you.
this morning on the way to school, the girls and i were trying to figure out a "verse of the day" out of the Bible. desi's favorite chapter in the whole Book is Psalm 91...probably because when i was a child, we had to memorize this chapter and recite it every single morning at breakfast. so when desiree was little, this obviously was a huge part of her introduction to the Bible and having inherited my Bible from when i was a young girl, she saw the highlighted chapter and all of my notes. and if it's special to mommy, it's special to her :). so of course, desiree said we could focus on Psalm 91 today.
Psalm 91 is THE protection chapter...i love it so much and still know it by heart. the key to unlocking His protection lies in the first verse, "he that abides in the shadow of the Most High....." in other words, we find our refuge in the shadow of our God's wings, our rest in His arms, and He takes care of us. we are little children and He is our good Daddy who protects us.
one of the first things that occured to me tonight after nearly crashing was this chapter we talked about this morning. i profusley thanked God for protecting us tonight. the girls and i discussed this and a while later when they were having their devotional time, desi said, "mom! my devotional tonight is on Psalm 91!" (the devotionals are divided up into dates, and sure enough, Feb 15th is about our good Shepherd who protects His sheep). and THEN, calli turned in her devotional to a story she wanted us to read.....the story of shadrack, meshack, and abendego (spelling?). of course, their story is about obedience and enduring...but HELLO!!!! it is also SOOO about protection too because not a hair on their head was burnt when they were in the fire, and our Savior was right there with them in those flames!!! (if you haven't read this story, it's a must read).
so the girls and i had a good laugh about what our Heavenly Father was trying to teach us today, knowing He purposley allowed all of that to happen today to prove we are under His protection. even a little while ago, there was something i was struggling with and had my mind not been protected, i would've really fallen into a trap! not only does He protect us physically, but spiritually, mentally, and emotionally if we let Him!!!
does this mean bad things will never happen? of course not! His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts and we may never be able to make sense why "bad things happen to good people." but i can make sense of today, and that my Savior saved me from harm and if He went to all that trouble to teach me about protection and staying in the shadow of His wings..then that's where this girl is abiding.
so use protection...His Word, let it be your shield and refuge. there's no greater covering than His shadow.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
save the drama fo' yo' momma!!!
if you're a girl...okay, if you're a human, you have dealt with drama. and i'm not talking about the kind of drama i thrive off of, i.e. writing/acting/performing drama, i'm talking petty/jealous/stupid drama. you have either A. caused it or B. been the victim. me? well, i've been both and if you're honest with yourself, you have too.
but i also have to fess up that i have been the victim of more than my fair share of petty girl crap. in fact, i still deal with it, except swap the "girl" for "woman." yup, even at age 30 i have woman older than me causing all kind of drama, saying really petty garbage, or just making comments that no one over the age of 10 has any right to say. i know from personal experience many 40 and 50 something year old women in my community who would curl up and die if they went a whole hour without complaining, backstabbing, gossiping, or spewing negativity. unfortunatley, i know from personal experience because i have been the target of more than one incident, more than one petty conversation, more than one hurtful, harsh comment. and it's been that way a good part of my life despite my desire to please everyone, make everyone happy and trying to maintain a sense of "false peace" with people that would rather devour me with their words and accusations than really get to know me.
am i claiming innocence? no..i have definitley played my part in hurting others and by no means am playing the victim card here, but i despise being at odds with someone and try to quickly remedy a problem with someone even if it just means saying sorry when i don't feel i did anything wrong. trash talking someone's appearance (I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!!!!), saying things like "did you hear.....?" and just being petty in general ("why are they such good friends? i feel left out!") make me want to punch a wall. drama definitley brings the violent side out in me apparently.
i read a book a few years ago that had a chapter in it called "sandpaper people." the whole concept was that God allows "sandpaper people" in your life to rub YOUR rough spots out. that they're always reasons that Father puts difficult people in your path. there's always a lesson there and you will walk away "smoother" than you were before if you just surrender and allow the "sandpaper" to do its job.
i never realized how thankful i was for those hard times when my "friends" turned their back on me. i never knew one day i would be grateful, even to this day, for silly women who have hurt me so deeply. without these petty people in my life, i would never know how to guide and lead my oldest daughter with wisdom as she is now 11 and dealing with many of the same issues. recently a few of her friends were upset because she seemed to "like" another friend more than them. they told her she was "causing a big fight" because she chose to jump rope with this other friend instead of swing with them. (yes, true story...and the way my daughter handled it before even coming to me made me so proud)
as we sat there and talked, i was able to really relate to her because even now as an adult, i have women that hate that i'm closer to some friends than they are. or if they feel left out, i get talked about or snide remarks get made my way because i have personal conversations with people that they don't. i have faced the fact that some woman is going to ALWAYS be jealous of something whether it's looks, size, friendships, marriage, children, etc. of another woman. that's just life, and as i was recalling the way some women have treated me personally in the past and recently, i was able to turn to the Word of God and instruct my girl on how to deal with these "sandpaper" people. and then i became grateful, exceedingly, heart-swelling thankful that these people were/are allowed in my life. i give THANKS for the insults, the rude comments, the cold shoulders, the mean attitudes because in that pain lies a deep secret; the secret to show my daughter a world of what NOT to be and how NOT to act.
so thanks petty folks....my daughter will be stronger, wiser, and more mature because of the lessons you have taught me. :)
but i also have to fess up that i have been the victim of more than my fair share of petty girl crap. in fact, i still deal with it, except swap the "girl" for "woman." yup, even at age 30 i have woman older than me causing all kind of drama, saying really petty garbage, or just making comments that no one over the age of 10 has any right to say. i know from personal experience many 40 and 50 something year old women in my community who would curl up and die if they went a whole hour without complaining, backstabbing, gossiping, or spewing negativity. unfortunatley, i know from personal experience because i have been the target of more than one incident, more than one petty conversation, more than one hurtful, harsh comment. and it's been that way a good part of my life despite my desire to please everyone, make everyone happy and trying to maintain a sense of "false peace" with people that would rather devour me with their words and accusations than really get to know me.
am i claiming innocence? no..i have definitley played my part in hurting others and by no means am playing the victim card here, but i despise being at odds with someone and try to quickly remedy a problem with someone even if it just means saying sorry when i don't feel i did anything wrong. trash talking someone's appearance (I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!!!!), saying things like "did you hear.....?" and just being petty in general ("why are they such good friends? i feel left out!") make me want to punch a wall. drama definitley brings the violent side out in me apparently.
i read a book a few years ago that had a chapter in it called "sandpaper people." the whole concept was that God allows "sandpaper people" in your life to rub YOUR rough spots out. that they're always reasons that Father puts difficult people in your path. there's always a lesson there and you will walk away "smoother" than you were before if you just surrender and allow the "sandpaper" to do its job.
i never realized how thankful i was for those hard times when my "friends" turned their back on me. i never knew one day i would be grateful, even to this day, for silly women who have hurt me so deeply. without these petty people in my life, i would never know how to guide and lead my oldest daughter with wisdom as she is now 11 and dealing with many of the same issues. recently a few of her friends were upset because she seemed to "like" another friend more than them. they told her she was "causing a big fight" because she chose to jump rope with this other friend instead of swing with them. (yes, true story...and the way my daughter handled it before even coming to me made me so proud)
as we sat there and talked, i was able to really relate to her because even now as an adult, i have women that hate that i'm closer to some friends than they are. or if they feel left out, i get talked about or snide remarks get made my way because i have personal conversations with people that they don't. i have faced the fact that some woman is going to ALWAYS be jealous of something whether it's looks, size, friendships, marriage, children, etc. of another woman. that's just life, and as i was recalling the way some women have treated me personally in the past and recently, i was able to turn to the Word of God and instruct my girl on how to deal with these "sandpaper" people. and then i became grateful, exceedingly, heart-swelling thankful that these people were/are allowed in my life. i give THANKS for the insults, the rude comments, the cold shoulders, the mean attitudes because in that pain lies a deep secret; the secret to show my daughter a world of what NOT to be and how NOT to act.
so thanks petty folks....my daughter will be stronger, wiser, and more mature because of the lessons you have taught me. :)
Saturday, February 4, 2012
thank You for my Daily Bread
i have felt so introverted, a tad depressed, and a lot exhausted this week. two nights in a row i slept for almost 11 hours. i had no idea what my problem was. i was still working out daily, but my energy level for anything else was drained and i became a "computer potato" staring at pinterest in a meaningless existance much of this past week.
as i was throwing a load of laundry in the washing machine the other night and wondering why i felt so drained/exhausted/depressed/quiet, i "heard" that still small voice in my spirit,"you've had no time with Me."
okay, so that punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me. and He was right, i was guilty as charged. i had had no quiet time in His Word (despite my nightly requests that the girls have their devotional/quiet times in God's Word), and i sure wasn't talking to Him as i normally do.
upon this revelation, i almost instantly felt energized. i knew as soon as i hit "start" on the washing machine, i was going upstairs and opening up my Bible. and that's exactly what i did.
i opened up to the Psalms and dived right in. it was like i had been traveling in a desert and all of sudden i found an oasis to drink from. it was instant medicine. look, i'm not saying the Bible is "magical," i'm saying, it's POWERFUL.
His Word is living, breathing power..the kind of power that makes lame man walk and blind man see. (emotionally, spiritually, and physically) His Word is a lamp unto my feet, it's the light that lights my paths when life gets too dark to see. it's the bread i desperatley need when i'm starving from the hunger that this world and all of its beauty/people/places/things can not fill. the Bible is my refuge, a strong tower that i run to when life is hard, when the world tells me i can't, but my Savior tells me all things are possible! it is strength when strength is gone, and it is mercy when i am found guilty. His Word is a weapon that destroys my fears and doubts and pulls me out of the pit of despair. it cuts into the darkness in my life and in my heart and burns my sins and my failures at the stake! the Bible is joy in the midst of bad circumstances, it's peace in the midst of storms, it's hope in trials, it is endurance in pain!!! it's a friend when everyone has turned their back. it is history, proven time and time again by great philosophers/archaeologists/scientists. it is Truth, it is Life, it is the Way. for His Word says that the "in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God"...and then the Word became flesh when our Father sent His only Son to a lost and dying world. don't you see? the Bible contains Holy Power because it IS power, God-breathed power!
and i'm telling you this because i KNOW you. i know that those few days when i felt down and depressed with no energy and a heaviness that wouldn't go away..i know that that is how some of you live on daily basis with no relief. and i want you to know that i know the power, the life changing power that a Book, a simple Book has to jerk you out of your complacency and set your feet on solid ground.
are you hungry? are you thirsty? are you spiritually naked left cold and alone in this dying world? .....there's a Book for that. and i promise you, you will never be the same if His Word is your daily bread.
as i was throwing a load of laundry in the washing machine the other night and wondering why i felt so drained/exhausted/depressed/quiet, i "heard" that still small voice in my spirit,"you've had no time with Me."
okay, so that punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me. and He was right, i was guilty as charged. i had had no quiet time in His Word (despite my nightly requests that the girls have their devotional/quiet times in God's Word), and i sure wasn't talking to Him as i normally do.
upon this revelation, i almost instantly felt energized. i knew as soon as i hit "start" on the washing machine, i was going upstairs and opening up my Bible. and that's exactly what i did.
i opened up to the Psalms and dived right in. it was like i had been traveling in a desert and all of sudden i found an oasis to drink from. it was instant medicine. look, i'm not saying the Bible is "magical," i'm saying, it's POWERFUL.
His Word is living, breathing power..the kind of power that makes lame man walk and blind man see. (emotionally, spiritually, and physically) His Word is a lamp unto my feet, it's the light that lights my paths when life gets too dark to see. it's the bread i desperatley need when i'm starving from the hunger that this world and all of its beauty/people/places/things can not fill. the Bible is my refuge, a strong tower that i run to when life is hard, when the world tells me i can't, but my Savior tells me all things are possible! it is strength when strength is gone, and it is mercy when i am found guilty. His Word is a weapon that destroys my fears and doubts and pulls me out of the pit of despair. it cuts into the darkness in my life and in my heart and burns my sins and my failures at the stake! the Bible is joy in the midst of bad circumstances, it's peace in the midst of storms, it's hope in trials, it is endurance in pain!!! it's a friend when everyone has turned their back. it is history, proven time and time again by great philosophers/archaeologists/scientists. it is Truth, it is Life, it is the Way. for His Word says that the "in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God"...and then the Word became flesh when our Father sent His only Son to a lost and dying world. don't you see? the Bible contains Holy Power because it IS power, God-breathed power!
and i'm telling you this because i KNOW you. i know that those few days when i felt down and depressed with no energy and a heaviness that wouldn't go away..i know that that is how some of you live on daily basis with no relief. and i want you to know that i know the power, the life changing power that a Book, a simple Book has to jerk you out of your complacency and set your feet on solid ground.
are you hungry? are you thirsty? are you spiritually naked left cold and alone in this dying world? .....there's a Book for that. and i promise you, you will never be the same if His Word is your daily bread.
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