a conversation with calli

"do you know that God has big plans for your life?" i asked calli tonight in casual conversation. i had just got done telling her for the millionth time in her life how important and special she was to me and to her Heavenly Father.

"yes" she replied.

"do you know He wants to do GREAT things with you?"

"yes"

"like what? what does God want to do with Calli?" being silly now because while i'm all for speaking good over my children, i didn't think at her tender age of six she quite knew what i was talking about. heck, even His plans for ME aren't always clear. but i do know they're always good :) (Jeremiah 29:11)

she quickly responded, "He wants to take care of me."

tears quickly filled my eyes at her innocent and very true statement.

"yes baby, He does. what else does He want to do in your life?"

"He wants to protect me from bad things, like the people who are hurt and killed because they love Him" ... a confusing statement, but i knew exactly what she meant.

an arrow shot through my heart. i have always, starting at a young age, told my girls about Christian martyrs all over the world and even reading them articles and showing them pictures out of the Voice of the Martyrs monthly newsletter. they know in many parts of the world it is a huge risk to believe in Messiah....that some risk their jobs, their homes, their own spouse and childrens' safety in order to never deny His great name. in fact, there was a girl last winter of 2010 who was burned badly when persecutors set fire to her village because they were believers. i told the girls her story and even now, over a year later, my girls still request prayer for this girl. they know, standing in Truth and faith is hard...it's risky...it is the most sacrificial thing that you ever do. and sometimes, our Father chooses not to protect us from persecution.

so as gently as i could, i tried to explain (completely humbled that my dear 6 year old daughter is so sensitive to what He wants to do in her life) that sometimes people are killed or hurt, lose everything they have, or suffer from unkind words for the Gospel's sake. and that while God may choose to not protect their bodies, He always guards their hearts and spirits, gives them strength to endure, and never ever leaves them. sometimes, we don't understand why He lets bad things happen to those who love Him so much, but His plans are always good.

she then fluttered off like a butterfly to play with her sister, so carefree and happy. and there i sat. the weight of the world on my spirit to pray that He would in fact, always take care of her, always protect her, never leave her. dedicating your kids to the Creator of the world, saying "here, they're all Yours" can be really tough. i worry over them, my life can be consumed by them, my focus sometimes is more on them than on my own love for God. but if she, at 6 years old, knows He wants to protect her, to take of her, then what shall i fear?

Dear Father, please always remind me as you did tonight that the plans You have for me are to take care of me, to protect me. and my dear children, my sweet girls who You so graciously gave me, please take care and protect them too. help them realize and understand Your great plan, Your great desire for their lives, and work in their hearts to ever show me Your way so that i too will become like a little child who trusts in You always.