this afternoon for work, our medical building had a "patient appreciation day" that included goody bags, a bounce house, cake, a live band, and door prizes for our patients and their families. i happened to be standing at a table in the upstairs lobby area when one man's name in particular was called announcing the winning of a door prize. i had met this man a few minutes before as we had discussed what clinical trials and medical research were all about. this man and his family that he brought (his daughter and son) were not your normal/average looking family. their clothes were dirty...shoes worn out..hair disheveled, and to the human eye, not the most attractive people..and yet SMILES on all of their faces. they were not by the world's standards "priviledged" and yet i couldn't take my eyes off of where they were sitting the whole time i stood there. they laughed, they smiled, they ate the free food with appreciation and gratitude....i found them to be beautiful.
so when the man's name was called to receive a door prize, i was so happy because he had been eagerly awaiting at a near-by table to see if he was a winner. his daughter in particular cheered on her dad, and when he found out his prize was a $20 gas card to ingles (a local grocery store), he was overjoyed. and then about 20 seconds later, someone clarified to him that his free gift wasn't just a gas card, but could be used for anything at ingles should he choose to buy food, etc.
OH MY GOSH! you would have thought you gave the man a gold bar. he said, "you mean i can buy ANYTHING at ingles for $20?! i can use this IN the store?!" ...he then excitedly showed his gift card to his daughter exclaiming, "WE CAN GO SHOPPING IN INGLES!" his daughter's eyes lit up (she was probably about 10 years old) and she got this huge smile on her face. and over and over he just kept on and on about having $20 to go shopping with at ingles. i cry just remembering how i held back hot tears that stung my eyes so no one would see how touched i was. if this man and his daughter would be that happy about twenty bucks to use at a nice grocery store in town, imagine how selfish, ashamed, and spoiled i felt just being within earshot of his joy.
there's really no point here i am trying to drive home to you. it was just, wow. one of those moments i wanted to high five them and tell them how happy i was for them. one of those moments i wanted to put in a jar and open on days i feel particularly low about being me, about having my life. one of those moments i never ever ever want to forget.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
the cry from a rebellious heart
Surrendering. To relinquish control, to hand over possession, just like that. I have such a rebellious heart, I always want to push the envelope just to see how far I can go without “going all the way” when it pertains to sinning, obedience, or submitting to authority. Have I ever fully surrendered? Haven’t I always been pushing the envelope, seeing how much of my way I can get while still “being good” in Your eyes? Every single great story of the Bible involves complete surrender, total obedience, absolute submission to Your calling, to Your voice, to Your will. Abraham taking his son that he prayed for to an altar as You told him, Moses bringing the people out of Egypt, Gideon leading the army of 300, Elijah, Isaiah and Jeremiah prophesying Your Words, King David, the 12 disciples, even Your own Son submitted totally to Your will by dying on a tree for a sinful world. The list continues on to Paul who out of obedience to You ended up in prison and martyred for Your Name sake, and yet lived a life of total joy that is still affecting the world today! And here I sit, rebellious, callous-hearted; wanting to do the right things, while still doing the wrong things. I get so angry over Calli being just like me…when I get onto her for being rebellious, and her push-the-envelope-always-questioning-authority attitude, I hear YOU speaking to ME. Surely the words I say to her are identical to the ones You speak to my spirit. I always think “I don’t want to break Calli’s spirit, I just want to channel that spirit for the good and not the wrong.” And then in church, as Pastor Renny speaks on absolute surrender, I hear You speaking into my heart, “I don’t want to break your spirit, Darlena.” You are such a good daddy! You, just like me, want Your children to be obedient because it is good for us to do as You ask. Your words, Your commandments, they are for my good and not my harm. You don’t give us a long list of “do nots” because You are mean…You do it out of care and protection and love for Your kids. Please help me to understand that. Please grace me with a light bulb moment that kicks my butt and tells me Your ways are good and I have got to stop rebelling…pushing to see how far I can go without actually “sinning,” playing with fire and always getting spiritually burned. I want surrender. I want to relinquish. I want to understand that I won’t lose this spirit inside You have placed within me if I am 100% submitted to Your commandments and Your will. I don’t want my way anymore. I want Your way, I want You to channel me for Your good and Your purpose. Oh dear Father, please let all I do have purpose. Every word, every thought, every deed and action, every single thing please let it have Your eternal purpose attached to it. And if it doesn’t, please free from those things. Please get rid of ME….LESS of me and MORE of You. Please help me to know that I will never be able to model surrender and obedience to my own children if I don’t do it in my life. You are the only one I want to surrender to…I am tired of surrendering to me. I am sick of me. The only good I have is You in me. Surrender. Relinquish. Give up control. Letting go. Obedience. Submission. For when I bow to You, You raise me up.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
the underdog
i will never forget as a kid, my dad rooting for football teams that didn't play that well. he would say, "root for the underdog. everyone loves it when the underdog wins." ...ain't that the truth? there are hundreds of inspirational movies, most based on true stories, of men and women who had the odds stacked against them, and in the end came out as victors. who doesn't love that kind of movie? the kind where anything is possible?!
i too, like my dad rooting for less than superbowl quality football teams, like my mom, and like my sisters and brother, root for the underdog. the ones who may not dress that great, who don't look that attractive, who may smell "bad" to others, who others would write off. we root for those people, and i'm proud to say that.
i think it's a very Biblical perspective, cheering the underdog to greater things beyond what they think is possible, or able to attain. the Bible is full of under- qualified people who were called out to do mighty things....moses studdered yet he was the one Father chose to lead the israelites out of slavery. WOW! then there's gideon who told the "angel of the LORD" who visited him saying he would lead an army, that he was from the smallest tribe and the very least in his family. yet gideon, with only 300 soldiers, conquered a great army! and those two stories are only in the first few books of the Bible!!!!..there are several more men and women, young and old who did amazing things and were apart of powerful acts who, when looked at on the outside, wore the underdog uniform.
and now, in modern days, there's the battered woman and child we root for, the nerdy boy in school who gets picked...we cheer him on! the soccer player who isn't so great..we scream and yell like they're the greatest player since david beckham! (and i am referring to my sweet 6 year old calli who just started playing soccer this week..she needs A LOT of cheering on ;) ) my point is, there is something in all of us, well most all of us, at least i hope there is, that wants justice for what we see isn't fair. if we see someone hurting, we want to defend them, we want to make it right and see victory for that person! we want to see them rise and shine to be all they can be!!
i watched a long documentary tonight on youtube about obama and israel. israel is the underdog. and if you don't believe that, then you need to do your homework. i'm not speaking out of watching one thing online, i'm speaking from the Bible, from my own research, from what real facts say. and israel is by far, an underdog. i root for them! i know that our Savior and Creator backs israel because that is His land and His people! you should be rooting for them too..or atleast praying for peace for jerusalem and all of israel.
and then there's macey. the underdog i am currently rooting for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. my sweet 20 year old sister in law (david's baby sis) who i love with my whole heart and soul. she sustained a brain injury nearly 3 weeks ago and her doctor told her parents that her prognosis wasn't good..that she may not make it. and now! now she has her eyes opened, no tissue damage per the MRI, and we are cheering her on to awaken to us mentally and emotionally!!!!!!! she was an underdog...an underdog who beat the odds. who fought against what the doctors said and battled a coma and a brain injury and is now very slowly on her way to recovery. but slowly or not, she is on her way!!!
i love to see things like that, don't you? will you root for the underdog with me tomorrow? when you wake up and go to work or school, when you go to the grocery store, will you be able spot who the underdog is? they'll be the person with no smile, so give them one. they will look sad, stressed, or upset, give them a kind word. they may be all alone, sit with them and genuinley ask "how are you?" and then actually listen to what they tell you. they may be the person training for something that you don't think they'll achieve..encourage them anyway! the weak person who needs a helping hand realizing their own self worth, cheer them on and cheer them up!!!
the underdog always tells us a lesson we need, so make sure you're listening.
i too, like my dad rooting for less than superbowl quality football teams, like my mom, and like my sisters and brother, root for the underdog. the ones who may not dress that great, who don't look that attractive, who may smell "bad" to others, who others would write off. we root for those people, and i'm proud to say that.
i think it's a very Biblical perspective, cheering the underdog to greater things beyond what they think is possible, or able to attain. the Bible is full of under- qualified people who were called out to do mighty things....moses studdered yet he was the one Father chose to lead the israelites out of slavery. WOW! then there's gideon who told the "angel of the LORD" who visited him saying he would lead an army, that he was from the smallest tribe and the very least in his family. yet gideon, with only 300 soldiers, conquered a great army! and those two stories are only in the first few books of the Bible!!!!..there are several more men and women, young and old who did amazing things and were apart of powerful acts who, when looked at on the outside, wore the underdog uniform.
and now, in modern days, there's the battered woman and child we root for, the nerdy boy in school who gets picked...we cheer him on! the soccer player who isn't so great..we scream and yell like they're the greatest player since david beckham! (and i am referring to my sweet 6 year old calli who just started playing soccer this week..she needs A LOT of cheering on ;) ) my point is, there is something in all of us, well most all of us, at least i hope there is, that wants justice for what we see isn't fair. if we see someone hurting, we want to defend them, we want to make it right and see victory for that person! we want to see them rise and shine to be all they can be!!
i watched a long documentary tonight on youtube about obama and israel. israel is the underdog. and if you don't believe that, then you need to do your homework. i'm not speaking out of watching one thing online, i'm speaking from the Bible, from my own research, from what real facts say. and israel is by far, an underdog. i root for them! i know that our Savior and Creator backs israel because that is His land and His people! you should be rooting for them too..or atleast praying for peace for jerusalem and all of israel.
and then there's macey. the underdog i am currently rooting for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. my sweet 20 year old sister in law (david's baby sis) who i love with my whole heart and soul. she sustained a brain injury nearly 3 weeks ago and her doctor told her parents that her prognosis wasn't good..that she may not make it. and now! now she has her eyes opened, no tissue damage per the MRI, and we are cheering her on to awaken to us mentally and emotionally!!!!!!! she was an underdog...an underdog who beat the odds. who fought against what the doctors said and battled a coma and a brain injury and is now very slowly on her way to recovery. but slowly or not, she is on her way!!!
i love to see things like that, don't you? will you root for the underdog with me tomorrow? when you wake up and go to work or school, when you go to the grocery store, will you be able spot who the underdog is? they'll be the person with no smile, so give them one. they will look sad, stressed, or upset, give them a kind word. they may be all alone, sit with them and genuinley ask "how are you?" and then actually listen to what they tell you. they may be the person training for something that you don't think they'll achieve..encourage them anyway! the weak person who needs a helping hand realizing their own self worth, cheer them on and cheer them up!!!
the underdog always tells us a lesson we need, so make sure you're listening.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
use protection
the dump truck swerved quickly to the left and before i knew it, i was jerking my steering wheel over not looking for other traffic in the lanes, but only concentrating on getting calli, my 6 year old who sits in the back on the passenger side, out of harm's way. surely this huge vehicle was going to hit us on her side, and hit us hard.
but it didn't. i jerked my car over and slammed on my brakes, throwing my purse and our bodies forward in a lurching motion, as i honked at the driver and screamed, "ARE YOU F*!#($*#(%u&# KIDDING ME?" yes, i said the word, the "f" word...apparentley being terrified for your childrens' lives will do crazy things to a momma's mind and mouth. we all sat there, i couldn't even move....frozen in fear of what could have just happened, and yet shaking uncontrollably from the adrenaline rush that threatened me to tears. but i didn't cry, nope, not a tear. i put my blinker on, moved back over into the lane, and kept on going. no one spoke for the next 3 mintes until we reached our destination.
that happened tonight; about 5 hours ago to be exact. it was a close call, too close for comfort, but it packed a big lesson....
you know, i love how big my God is! i love that He personalizes, confirms, and ties together things for me...and even more so when my daughters are involved!!! let me rewind a bit for you.
this morning on the way to school, the girls and i were trying to figure out a "verse of the day" out of the Bible. desi's favorite chapter in the whole Book is Psalm 91...probably because when i was a child, we had to memorize this chapter and recite it every single morning at breakfast. so when desiree was little, this obviously was a huge part of her introduction to the Bible and having inherited my Bible from when i was a young girl, she saw the highlighted chapter and all of my notes. and if it's special to mommy, it's special to her :). so of course, desiree said we could focus on Psalm 91 today.
Psalm 91 is THE protection chapter...i love it so much and still know it by heart. the key to unlocking His protection lies in the first verse, "he that abides in the shadow of the Most High....." in other words, we find our refuge in the shadow of our God's wings, our rest in His arms, and He takes care of us. we are little children and He is our good Daddy who protects us.
one of the first things that occured to me tonight after nearly crashing was this chapter we talked about this morning. i profusley thanked God for protecting us tonight. the girls and i discussed this and a while later when they were having their devotional time, desi said, "mom! my devotional tonight is on Psalm 91!" (the devotionals are divided up into dates, and sure enough, Feb 15th is about our good Shepherd who protects His sheep). and THEN, calli turned in her devotional to a story she wanted us to read.....the story of shadrack, meshack, and abendego (spelling?). of course, their story is about obedience and enduring...but HELLO!!!! it is also SOOO about protection too because not a hair on their head was burnt when they were in the fire, and our Savior was right there with them in those flames!!! (if you haven't read this story, it's a must read).
so the girls and i had a good laugh about what our Heavenly Father was trying to teach us today, knowing He purposley allowed all of that to happen today to prove we are under His protection. even a little while ago, there was something i was struggling with and had my mind not been protected, i would've really fallen into a trap! not only does He protect us physically, but spiritually, mentally, and emotionally if we let Him!!!
does this mean bad things will never happen? of course not! His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts and we may never be able to make sense why "bad things happen to good people." but i can make sense of today, and that my Savior saved me from harm and if He went to all that trouble to teach me about protection and staying in the shadow of His wings..then that's where this girl is abiding.
so use protection...His Word, let it be your shield and refuge. there's no greater covering than His shadow.
but it didn't. i jerked my car over and slammed on my brakes, throwing my purse and our bodies forward in a lurching motion, as i honked at the driver and screamed, "ARE YOU F*!#($*#(%u&# KIDDING ME?" yes, i said the word, the "f" word...apparentley being terrified for your childrens' lives will do crazy things to a momma's mind and mouth. we all sat there, i couldn't even move....frozen in fear of what could have just happened, and yet shaking uncontrollably from the adrenaline rush that threatened me to tears. but i didn't cry, nope, not a tear. i put my blinker on, moved back over into the lane, and kept on going. no one spoke for the next 3 mintes until we reached our destination.
that happened tonight; about 5 hours ago to be exact. it was a close call, too close for comfort, but it packed a big lesson....
you know, i love how big my God is! i love that He personalizes, confirms, and ties together things for me...and even more so when my daughters are involved!!! let me rewind a bit for you.
this morning on the way to school, the girls and i were trying to figure out a "verse of the day" out of the Bible. desi's favorite chapter in the whole Book is Psalm 91...probably because when i was a child, we had to memorize this chapter and recite it every single morning at breakfast. so when desiree was little, this obviously was a huge part of her introduction to the Bible and having inherited my Bible from when i was a young girl, she saw the highlighted chapter and all of my notes. and if it's special to mommy, it's special to her :). so of course, desiree said we could focus on Psalm 91 today.
Psalm 91 is THE protection chapter...i love it so much and still know it by heart. the key to unlocking His protection lies in the first verse, "he that abides in the shadow of the Most High....." in other words, we find our refuge in the shadow of our God's wings, our rest in His arms, and He takes care of us. we are little children and He is our good Daddy who protects us.
one of the first things that occured to me tonight after nearly crashing was this chapter we talked about this morning. i profusley thanked God for protecting us tonight. the girls and i discussed this and a while later when they were having their devotional time, desi said, "mom! my devotional tonight is on Psalm 91!" (the devotionals are divided up into dates, and sure enough, Feb 15th is about our good Shepherd who protects His sheep). and THEN, calli turned in her devotional to a story she wanted us to read.....the story of shadrack, meshack, and abendego (spelling?). of course, their story is about obedience and enduring...but HELLO!!!! it is also SOOO about protection too because not a hair on their head was burnt when they were in the fire, and our Savior was right there with them in those flames!!! (if you haven't read this story, it's a must read).
so the girls and i had a good laugh about what our Heavenly Father was trying to teach us today, knowing He purposley allowed all of that to happen today to prove we are under His protection. even a little while ago, there was something i was struggling with and had my mind not been protected, i would've really fallen into a trap! not only does He protect us physically, but spiritually, mentally, and emotionally if we let Him!!!
does this mean bad things will never happen? of course not! His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts and we may never be able to make sense why "bad things happen to good people." but i can make sense of today, and that my Savior saved me from harm and if He went to all that trouble to teach me about protection and staying in the shadow of His wings..then that's where this girl is abiding.
so use protection...His Word, let it be your shield and refuge. there's no greater covering than His shadow.
Monday, February 6, 2012
save the drama fo' yo' momma!!!
if you're a girl...okay, if you're a human, you have dealt with drama. and i'm not talking about the kind of drama i thrive off of, i.e. writing/acting/performing drama, i'm talking petty/jealous/stupid drama. you have either A. caused it or B. been the victim. me? well, i've been both and if you're honest with yourself, you have too.
but i also have to fess up that i have been the victim of more than my fair share of petty girl crap. in fact, i still deal with it, except swap the "girl" for "woman." yup, even at age 30 i have woman older than me causing all kind of drama, saying really petty garbage, or just making comments that no one over the age of 10 has any right to say. i know from personal experience many 40 and 50 something year old women in my community who would curl up and die if they went a whole hour without complaining, backstabbing, gossiping, or spewing negativity. unfortunatley, i know from personal experience because i have been the target of more than one incident, more than one petty conversation, more than one hurtful, harsh comment. and it's been that way a good part of my life despite my desire to please everyone, make everyone happy and trying to maintain a sense of "false peace" with people that would rather devour me with their words and accusations than really get to know me.
am i claiming innocence? no..i have definitley played my part in hurting others and by no means am playing the victim card here, but i despise being at odds with someone and try to quickly remedy a problem with someone even if it just means saying sorry when i don't feel i did anything wrong. trash talking someone's appearance (I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!!!!), saying things like "did you hear.....?" and just being petty in general ("why are they such good friends? i feel left out!") make me want to punch a wall. drama definitley brings the violent side out in me apparently.
i read a book a few years ago that had a chapter in it called "sandpaper people." the whole concept was that God allows "sandpaper people" in your life to rub YOUR rough spots out. that they're always reasons that Father puts difficult people in your path. there's always a lesson there and you will walk away "smoother" than you were before if you just surrender and allow the "sandpaper" to do its job.
i never realized how thankful i was for those hard times when my "friends" turned their back on me. i never knew one day i would be grateful, even to this day, for silly women who have hurt me so deeply. without these petty people in my life, i would never know how to guide and lead my oldest daughter with wisdom as she is now 11 and dealing with many of the same issues. recently a few of her friends were upset because she seemed to "like" another friend more than them. they told her she was "causing a big fight" because she chose to jump rope with this other friend instead of swing with them. (yes, true story...and the way my daughter handled it before even coming to me made me so proud)
as we sat there and talked, i was able to really relate to her because even now as an adult, i have women that hate that i'm closer to some friends than they are. or if they feel left out, i get talked about or snide remarks get made my way because i have personal conversations with people that they don't. i have faced the fact that some woman is going to ALWAYS be jealous of something whether it's looks, size, friendships, marriage, children, etc. of another woman. that's just life, and as i was recalling the way some women have treated me personally in the past and recently, i was able to turn to the Word of God and instruct my girl on how to deal with these "sandpaper" people. and then i became grateful, exceedingly, heart-swelling thankful that these people were/are allowed in my life. i give THANKS for the insults, the rude comments, the cold shoulders, the mean attitudes because in that pain lies a deep secret; the secret to show my daughter a world of what NOT to be and how NOT to act.
so thanks petty folks....my daughter will be stronger, wiser, and more mature because of the lessons you have taught me. :)
but i also have to fess up that i have been the victim of more than my fair share of petty girl crap. in fact, i still deal with it, except swap the "girl" for "woman." yup, even at age 30 i have woman older than me causing all kind of drama, saying really petty garbage, or just making comments that no one over the age of 10 has any right to say. i know from personal experience many 40 and 50 something year old women in my community who would curl up and die if they went a whole hour without complaining, backstabbing, gossiping, or spewing negativity. unfortunatley, i know from personal experience because i have been the target of more than one incident, more than one petty conversation, more than one hurtful, harsh comment. and it's been that way a good part of my life despite my desire to please everyone, make everyone happy and trying to maintain a sense of "false peace" with people that would rather devour me with their words and accusations than really get to know me.
am i claiming innocence? no..i have definitley played my part in hurting others and by no means am playing the victim card here, but i despise being at odds with someone and try to quickly remedy a problem with someone even if it just means saying sorry when i don't feel i did anything wrong. trash talking someone's appearance (I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!!!!), saying things like "did you hear.....?" and just being petty in general ("why are they such good friends? i feel left out!") make me want to punch a wall. drama definitley brings the violent side out in me apparently.
i read a book a few years ago that had a chapter in it called "sandpaper people." the whole concept was that God allows "sandpaper people" in your life to rub YOUR rough spots out. that they're always reasons that Father puts difficult people in your path. there's always a lesson there and you will walk away "smoother" than you were before if you just surrender and allow the "sandpaper" to do its job.
i never realized how thankful i was for those hard times when my "friends" turned their back on me. i never knew one day i would be grateful, even to this day, for silly women who have hurt me so deeply. without these petty people in my life, i would never know how to guide and lead my oldest daughter with wisdom as she is now 11 and dealing with many of the same issues. recently a few of her friends were upset because she seemed to "like" another friend more than them. they told her she was "causing a big fight" because she chose to jump rope with this other friend instead of swing with them. (yes, true story...and the way my daughter handled it before even coming to me made me so proud)
as we sat there and talked, i was able to really relate to her because even now as an adult, i have women that hate that i'm closer to some friends than they are. or if they feel left out, i get talked about or snide remarks get made my way because i have personal conversations with people that they don't. i have faced the fact that some woman is going to ALWAYS be jealous of something whether it's looks, size, friendships, marriage, children, etc. of another woman. that's just life, and as i was recalling the way some women have treated me personally in the past and recently, i was able to turn to the Word of God and instruct my girl on how to deal with these "sandpaper" people. and then i became grateful, exceedingly, heart-swelling thankful that these people were/are allowed in my life. i give THANKS for the insults, the rude comments, the cold shoulders, the mean attitudes because in that pain lies a deep secret; the secret to show my daughter a world of what NOT to be and how NOT to act.
so thanks petty folks....my daughter will be stronger, wiser, and more mature because of the lessons you have taught me. :)
Saturday, February 4, 2012
thank You for my Daily Bread
i have felt so introverted, a tad depressed, and a lot exhausted this week. two nights in a row i slept for almost 11 hours. i had no idea what my problem was. i was still working out daily, but my energy level for anything else was drained and i became a "computer potato" staring at pinterest in a meaningless existance much of this past week.
as i was throwing a load of laundry in the washing machine the other night and wondering why i felt so drained/exhausted/depressed/quiet, i "heard" that still small voice in my spirit,"you've had no time with Me."
okay, so that punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me. and He was right, i was guilty as charged. i had had no quiet time in His Word (despite my nightly requests that the girls have their devotional/quiet times in God's Word), and i sure wasn't talking to Him as i normally do.
upon this revelation, i almost instantly felt energized. i knew as soon as i hit "start" on the washing machine, i was going upstairs and opening up my Bible. and that's exactly what i did.
i opened up to the Psalms and dived right in. it was like i had been traveling in a desert and all of sudden i found an oasis to drink from. it was instant medicine. look, i'm not saying the Bible is "magical," i'm saying, it's POWERFUL.
His Word is living, breathing power..the kind of power that makes lame man walk and blind man see. (emotionally, spiritually, and physically) His Word is a lamp unto my feet, it's the light that lights my paths when life gets too dark to see. it's the bread i desperatley need when i'm starving from the hunger that this world and all of its beauty/people/places/things can not fill. the Bible is my refuge, a strong tower that i run to when life is hard, when the world tells me i can't, but my Savior tells me all things are possible! it is strength when strength is gone, and it is mercy when i am found guilty. His Word is a weapon that destroys my fears and doubts and pulls me out of the pit of despair. it cuts into the darkness in my life and in my heart and burns my sins and my failures at the stake! the Bible is joy in the midst of bad circumstances, it's peace in the midst of storms, it's hope in trials, it is endurance in pain!!! it's a friend when everyone has turned their back. it is history, proven time and time again by great philosophers/archaeologists/scientists. it is Truth, it is Life, it is the Way. for His Word says that the "in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God"...and then the Word became flesh when our Father sent His only Son to a lost and dying world. don't you see? the Bible contains Holy Power because it IS power, God-breathed power!
and i'm telling you this because i KNOW you. i know that those few days when i felt down and depressed with no energy and a heaviness that wouldn't go away..i know that that is how some of you live on daily basis with no relief. and i want you to know that i know the power, the life changing power that a Book, a simple Book has to jerk you out of your complacency and set your feet on solid ground.
are you hungry? are you thirsty? are you spiritually naked left cold and alone in this dying world? .....there's a Book for that. and i promise you, you will never be the same if His Word is your daily bread.
as i was throwing a load of laundry in the washing machine the other night and wondering why i felt so drained/exhausted/depressed/quiet, i "heard" that still small voice in my spirit,"you've had no time with Me."
okay, so that punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me. and He was right, i was guilty as charged. i had had no quiet time in His Word (despite my nightly requests that the girls have their devotional/quiet times in God's Word), and i sure wasn't talking to Him as i normally do.
upon this revelation, i almost instantly felt energized. i knew as soon as i hit "start" on the washing machine, i was going upstairs and opening up my Bible. and that's exactly what i did.
i opened up to the Psalms and dived right in. it was like i had been traveling in a desert and all of sudden i found an oasis to drink from. it was instant medicine. look, i'm not saying the Bible is "magical," i'm saying, it's POWERFUL.
His Word is living, breathing power..the kind of power that makes lame man walk and blind man see. (emotionally, spiritually, and physically) His Word is a lamp unto my feet, it's the light that lights my paths when life gets too dark to see. it's the bread i desperatley need when i'm starving from the hunger that this world and all of its beauty/people/places/things can not fill. the Bible is my refuge, a strong tower that i run to when life is hard, when the world tells me i can't, but my Savior tells me all things are possible! it is strength when strength is gone, and it is mercy when i am found guilty. His Word is a weapon that destroys my fears and doubts and pulls me out of the pit of despair. it cuts into the darkness in my life and in my heart and burns my sins and my failures at the stake! the Bible is joy in the midst of bad circumstances, it's peace in the midst of storms, it's hope in trials, it is endurance in pain!!! it's a friend when everyone has turned their back. it is history, proven time and time again by great philosophers/archaeologists/scientists. it is Truth, it is Life, it is the Way. for His Word says that the "in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God"...and then the Word became flesh when our Father sent His only Son to a lost and dying world. don't you see? the Bible contains Holy Power because it IS power, God-breathed power!
and i'm telling you this because i KNOW you. i know that those few days when i felt down and depressed with no energy and a heaviness that wouldn't go away..i know that that is how some of you live on daily basis with no relief. and i want you to know that i know the power, the life changing power that a Book, a simple Book has to jerk you out of your complacency and set your feet on solid ground.
are you hungry? are you thirsty? are you spiritually naked left cold and alone in this dying world? .....there's a Book for that. and i promise you, you will never be the same if His Word is your daily bread.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
a conversation with calli
"do you know that God has big plans for your life?" i asked calli tonight in casual conversation. i had just got done telling her for the millionth time in her life how important and special she was to me and to her Heavenly Father.
"yes" she replied.
"do you know He wants to do GREAT things with you?"
"yes"
"like what? what does God want to do with Calli?" being silly now because while i'm all for speaking good over my children, i didn't think at her tender age of six she quite knew what i was talking about. heck, even His plans for ME aren't always clear. but i do know they're always good :) (Jeremiah 29:11)
she quickly responded, "He wants to take care of me."
tears quickly filled my eyes at her innocent and very true statement.
"yes baby, He does. what else does He want to do in your life?"
"He wants to protect me from bad things, like the people who are hurt and killed because they love Him" ... a confusing statement, but i knew exactly what she meant.
an arrow shot through my heart. i have always, starting at a young age, told my girls about Christian martyrs all over the world and even reading them articles and showing them pictures out of the Voice of the Martyrs monthly newsletter. they know in many parts of the world it is a huge risk to believe in Messiah....that some risk their jobs, their homes, their own spouse and childrens' safety in order to never deny His great name. in fact, there was a girl last winter of 2010 who was burned badly when persecutors set fire to her village because they were believers. i told the girls her story and even now, over a year later, my girls still request prayer for this girl. they know, standing in Truth and faith is hard...it's risky...it is the most sacrificial thing that you ever do. and sometimes, our Father chooses not to protect us from persecution.
so as gently as i could, i tried to explain (completely humbled that my dear 6 year old daughter is so sensitive to what He wants to do in her life) that sometimes people are killed or hurt, lose everything they have, or suffer from unkind words for the Gospel's sake. and that while God may choose to not protect their bodies, He always guards their hearts and spirits, gives them strength to endure, and never ever leaves them. sometimes, we don't understand why He lets bad things happen to those who love Him so much, but His plans are always good.
she then fluttered off like a butterfly to play with her sister, so carefree and happy. and there i sat. the weight of the world on my spirit to pray that He would in fact, always take care of her, always protect her, never leave her. dedicating your kids to the Creator of the world, saying "here, they're all Yours" can be really tough. i worry over them, my life can be consumed by them, my focus sometimes is more on them than on my own love for God. but if she, at 6 years old, knows He wants to protect her, to take of her, then what shall i fear?
Dear Father, please always remind me as you did tonight that the plans You have for me are to take care of me, to protect me. and my dear children, my sweet girls who You so graciously gave me, please take care and protect them too. help them realize and understand Your great plan, Your great desire for their lives, and work in their hearts to ever show me Your way so that i too will become like a little child who trusts in You always.
"yes" she replied.
"do you know He wants to do GREAT things with you?"
"yes"
"like what? what does God want to do with Calli?" being silly now because while i'm all for speaking good over my children, i didn't think at her tender age of six she quite knew what i was talking about. heck, even His plans for ME aren't always clear. but i do know they're always good :) (Jeremiah 29:11)
she quickly responded, "He wants to take care of me."
tears quickly filled my eyes at her innocent and very true statement.
"yes baby, He does. what else does He want to do in your life?"
"He wants to protect me from bad things, like the people who are hurt and killed because they love Him" ... a confusing statement, but i knew exactly what she meant.
an arrow shot through my heart. i have always, starting at a young age, told my girls about Christian martyrs all over the world and even reading them articles and showing them pictures out of the Voice of the Martyrs monthly newsletter. they know in many parts of the world it is a huge risk to believe in Messiah....that some risk their jobs, their homes, their own spouse and childrens' safety in order to never deny His great name. in fact, there was a girl last winter of 2010 who was burned badly when persecutors set fire to her village because they were believers. i told the girls her story and even now, over a year later, my girls still request prayer for this girl. they know, standing in Truth and faith is hard...it's risky...it is the most sacrificial thing that you ever do. and sometimes, our Father chooses not to protect us from persecution.
so as gently as i could, i tried to explain (completely humbled that my dear 6 year old daughter is so sensitive to what He wants to do in her life) that sometimes people are killed or hurt, lose everything they have, or suffer from unkind words for the Gospel's sake. and that while God may choose to not protect their bodies, He always guards their hearts and spirits, gives them strength to endure, and never ever leaves them. sometimes, we don't understand why He lets bad things happen to those who love Him so much, but His plans are always good.
she then fluttered off like a butterfly to play with her sister, so carefree and happy. and there i sat. the weight of the world on my spirit to pray that He would in fact, always take care of her, always protect her, never leave her. dedicating your kids to the Creator of the world, saying "here, they're all Yours" can be really tough. i worry over them, my life can be consumed by them, my focus sometimes is more on them than on my own love for God. but if she, at 6 years old, knows He wants to protect her, to take of her, then what shall i fear?
Dear Father, please always remind me as you did tonight that the plans You have for me are to take care of me, to protect me. and my dear children, my sweet girls who You so graciously gave me, please take care and protect them too. help them realize and understand Your great plan, Your great desire for their lives, and work in their hearts to ever show me Your way so that i too will become like a little child who trusts in You always.
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