$3 for eighty cents?!

i was furious this evening when i found out that my 6 year old daughter traded $3 in coins she had (for a fundraiser at school) for .80 cents. i saw no logic in it, she gave me no answer other than she wanted to..she doesn't know the girl's name, only that she is in second grade. i kept saying over and over, "you gave up your three dollars for .80 cents?" this may seem menial to you, but i'm all about teaching my girls the value of a dollar and RESPONSIBILITY!!! not to mention, most of the money she had came out of her sister's piggy bank. $3 in exchange for .80 cents. sounds like a raw deal to me.

so, who do i call and vent to? my best friend of course!!! i called david, her daddy, my husband, our rock. i just couldn't understand why anyone would give three dollars in exchange for eighty cents. i wanted him to talk to her; he did, much more calmly than me, and then when i got back on the phone, i just kept saying, "why would she DO that?! $3 for eighty cents?!"...and then of course all of my questioning subsided when the Spirit reminded me i do that to my Savior all the time.

i have the most costly gifts...salvation, grace, mercy. and i am daily exchanging it for something much cheaper...wrong attitudes, harsh words, pride. i willingly exchange my gifts from God for something that is of far less value. and i do this often. how many times do i get done praying, "thank you so much for Your mercy"...and then refuse to give mercy to someone else who needs it? or maybe i'll trade His love in on people-approval..DEFINITLEY MUCH LESS VALUABLE BY THE WAY, because basically people suck and so does their approval. most i know are fake fake fake and their approval is also fake fake fake. so instead of making sure i'm pleasing Him and basking in His love for me, i'm too busy ignoring His acceptance and seeking it in someone else.

this is an every day occurence that WE ALL do this!!! we take the diamonds and pearls that our Father in Heaven gives us and exchange them at the corner street market for some cheap costume jewelry. and then we walk around all day wearing our costume jewelry, thinking we're better than everyone, full of pride and "me-ness," and completely ignore the fact that the fake jewelry around our necks will break like cheap garbage and we'll be in desperate need for those diamonds and pearls once more.

DEAR GOD, PLEASE don't let me exchange the blessings You give me for something that could NEVER equal the value of Your gifts!!!! $3 for eighty cents may seem like a raw deal, but so does grace in exchange for self.

it's a lie: just a blog to vent

if anyone can prove to me that christmas, december 25th, is our Savior's day of birth.. i will literally stand on my head for 24 hours. seriously. it is a proven fact that He was not born in december at all, and definitley not on december 25th. do your own research, it's all there. computer, books, history, the Bible....check it out. you've been lied to. "Jesus is the reason for the season?" um, no. take me for a scrooge, and a bah-humbug, but our Messiah should be the reason for every season. the fact that He came to earth as a God-babe should be celebrated EVERY DAY..not just one day that is mixed with some fat man in a red suit, presents, over-eating, family disputes, and self-indulgence! so the next time someone says that christmas is His birthday, you can ask why they believe that. and 99% of the time it's because of how they were raised, or because of what a church told them. but it's a lie. so i suggest you dig and do your own research. and if you can prove me wrong, then by all means..i'm ready to stand on my head :)

why Jesus is better than Santa

i was surfing through my old myspace blogs (man, i used to be a fiery one in my writing) and came across this. thought i'd share it since it's the season for santa. i think it's something that my sis-in-law sent me, but loved it so much i copied and pasted it on my blog.

WHY JESUS IS BETTER THAN SANTA CLAUS!
Santa lives at the North Pole....JESUS is everywhere

Santa rides in a sleigh...JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water

Santa comes but once a year.....JESUS is an ever present help

Santa fills your stockings with goodies.....JESUS supplies all your needs

Santa comes down your chimney uninvited...JESUS stands at your door and knocks, and then enters your heart invited

You have to wait in line to see Santa...JESUS is as close as the mention of His name

Santa doesn't know your name; all he can say is "Hi, little boy or girl, what's your name?"....JESUS knew our name before we were born. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our head!!!

Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly...JESUS has a heart full of love

All Santa can offer is HO HO HO...JESUS offers health, help and hope

Santa says, "You better not cry"..JESUS says, "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you." (this one is my favorite)

Santa's little helpers make toys....JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes, and builds mansions

Santa may make you chuckle but...JESUS gives you joy that is your strength

While Santa puts gifts under your tree...JESUS became our gift and died on a tree

blah

i HATE the sunday blues. ya know, when 5pm hits on sunday evening and the dreaded "monday" is staring at you smack dab in the face. and especially today, with the rain, after a 4 day break with my fella' and our girls, the holiday..going back to work tomorrow morning seems more crap than cool.

but, after this weekend, when a friend's family is reaching the breaking point of divorce, and another friend unexpectadley lost her mom the day after thanksgiving, and then yet another friend's daughter lost her home in a fire the day before thanksgiving...i think i'll suck up my sunday blues and be thankful for a job to go to.

this weekend proved hard for so many. family bonds were tested, faith was shaken, questions were asked that had no answers. and i know as i sit here and type in my warm and dry home with blessings a-plenty, adversity will soon hit me and my family. because, that's life. if it's not hard for me now, it will be. so i must stay armoured, pray in battle even when i'm not in the war. get prepared for a fight during times of peace. strengthen my faith, be diligent in prayer, stay close to my Savior's heart. and i encourage you to do the same.

if things are hard for you now..GREAT! you'll never know the huge plan that God has for your life if you don't embrace the pain and fight. fight through your tears..get down, but don't stay down! your pain and trials are and will be used for a purpose far greater than an "easy life" will produce!! and if right now, you're like me...so beyond blessed that complaining about anything would be a direct slap to God's face, then BE THANKFUL!!!!! but don't stop praying! you never ever stop praying just because things seem comfortable for you. i plead with you to jerk yourself out of complacency, hit your knees, and build your house on a rock. for when the storm comes...you won't want to be on anything but Christ's solid ground...

for my friends who have been swallowed by life's unfairness this past week, my prayers are with you. you are strong, beautiful, and you will find comfort in your pain.

i'm watching you...

i write dramas. skits, plays, whatever. i also perform and direct drama at church. i love being on stage and i feel most at home when i'm performing something that is God-breathed that i have written. it's what i was born to do. unfortunatley, there's no money in it where i live..so instead i do it to bring honor to my Creator, my Savior. i do it in hopes that someone's life will be touched and what they see on stage will forever stay in their spirit and heart. so very often, i am approached by people that tell me how much i ministered to them through a skit, whether i wrote it, directed it, or performed it. i'm humbled every time because it thrills me that a holy God has chosen to use what i LOVE to do and use it for HIS Kingdom!!

so this morning, when i was approached by a man i had never seen (who apparently sits 2 rows behind me every sunday), i was positive he was going to tell me something to the effect of, "i just want to let you know how much i enjoy what you do on stage," or something of that nature. but he didn't.

this elderly man of probably early 70s gets in my face, practically nose to nose. i can see every freckle, wrinkle, and liver spot on his face, i can even see my reflection in his bifocals. what he says blessed me more than any accolade i could have received for any acting performance. he said to me, "i just want to let you know what joy i find in the way you love on your daughters, and the way they love you back. every sunday i watch you and your girls, and it's such a breathe of fresh air the way you are with them. when i was your age, i was too busy telling my children to be quiet or sit down, but we didn't love on each other the way you do with one another."

i thought i would cry right then. this man, whom i'd never seen, sitting two rows behind me in church....wow. i mean, i've had friends say how sweet it is that calli raises her hands during worship, or how precious desiree is when she lays her head on my shoulder..but THIS. from a STRANGER!

no, this is no act i put on. when i'm at church, and even when i'm not, my girls are 100% loved and they 100% love me back. we kiss, we hug, we snuggle, we play with each other's hair (well, i play with their hair...i hate having my hair played with). it's a time where i get to sit with them, sing with them, worship with them, pray with them, take communion with them. and when david is in town and in church with me, it's no different. typically calli sits in his lap and desiree is laying on my lap. we are lovey-dovey family and the fact that a stranger noticed made me wonder how many times i'm being watched by others. not just at church while sitting with my girls, but all the time.

who's watching me to see how i react when someone at work ticks me off? who's listening and paying attention when i gossip and i really shouldn't be? who sees me pull out of church on sunday morning, and then sees me get mad at a store clerk on monday? who watches us? everyone. everyone does. if you claim to be a child of the King, you are going to be watched. be on guard. be holy as He is holy. be found loving, being patient, possessing the fruit of the Spirit. someone is going to notice you. but don't take my word for it...just ask the old man two rows behind me....

i love you MORE!

both of my daughters, but especially my little calli (my 6 year old) is convinced she loves me more than i love her. recently on the way to school she asked me how much i loved her. i grasped for something that even came close to the amount of love i have for my precious daughter, and all i came up with was, "more than you could ever imagine. to the moon and stars and back. i love you for eternity." she then proceeded to tell me without skipping a beat, "well, i love you one thousand more than that!" and so we went back and forth, even with desiree throwing some "i love you more"s in there. they would tell me how much they loved me (using some crazy high number that usually ended in -illion. i.e. catrillion, mooillion, baskillion, etc.) and of course i would say i loved them that much plus one, because well, i love them more!!!

last night calli said, "mommy, i love you more." to which i replied, "baby, you could never out-love your momma." she insisted that she "out-loves" me, but it could never happen. a child with a parent who loves them could never love them more than that parent loves their child. and so, i basked in that thought. as much as i love my momma, she out-loves me. and so on with my dad too. but it was the notion that i could never out-love my God that really made me ponder. i could never in a million years love my Savior more than He loves me. and so, i wonder and would most certainly like to believe.....when i pray, and i say "i love you, Father" ..does He reply to me "I love you more." ?

back to the basics-a Sunday of playing hookey and revived revelation

here i am, playing hookey from church. it's not because i slept late (thank God for that extra hour of sleep. i totally needed it after my dog barked all night long). it's not because i don't want to be at my chuch, though i love it and its people dearly. i am simply playing hookey because we planned it this way. i wanted to have a leisurely breakfast with my gals, wash my car, and have my own worship time this morning. and so i did. and now here i sit, writing about my time with my God.

this morning, i got back to the basics. while listening to a worship song, the gratefulness, amazement, and humility from a Savior dying on a cross hit me like a ton of bricks. it is so easy to be casual about this, because it is so basic. God loves world, sends Son to die on cross, Son rises again, and grace is extended for all who accepts it and chooses to believe. it's the basic of the basics. it's where a sinner's debt is paid, it's the beginning of a life of salvation, it's where a relationship with your Creator all begins. and yet, without this solid foundation, there is no hope. this morning, as i sang and worshipped, the thought that i deserve hell without His grace became very real. the thought that if He had not come to die for our sins,  even my sweet children would be doomed for hell. there would only be loss, every death and funeral would offer terrible suffering as the survivors could only wonder what happened to their loved ones in the "after life." maybe not. maybe we would just walk around and believe that we are not eternal beings and that after death, that is it. what a terribly purpose-less life we would all lead if we had no hope.

so while i'm always thankful for His grace, His mercy..this morning brought a new awakening in my soul to encourage you, that He is merciful, that He gives His grace freely, that His Son came and died for you.

i had a wonderful image in my head this morning while thinking about His grace, while pondering on our Messiah's death and resurrection. whether it was my wild imagination or the Spirit's leading that conjured up this picture in my head, i don't know, but i do know it was perfect for me. i thought of my girls at our kitchen table, eating a meal. they know if their food falls, or if they spill their drink, momma is going to be there to get out her clorox anywhere spray and clean up the mess. but what my kids don't do is purposefully make a mess, dump their water on the floor, or rub their food all over the table just because they know momma has the power and the tools to clean up their messes. now, if we screw up and sin, His grace is always there to "clean up our mess," but we should never take for granted His mercy and forgiveness so much, that we purposely make the mess and expect Him to forgive us. i know i'm so guilty of doing this...thinking "i know this is wrong, but i'm going to do it anyway and rely on His grace..." ...i don't want to be like that, though! i don't want to make a mess on purpose and then expect my Savior to get out the "clorox anywhere spray" and clean up my filth! i pray that He purifies me to be holy as He is holy.

this is what our God is crying out for us to do, to walk in His truth and abide by His word..the Bible says He gives us His "laws, rules, instructions" for our GOOD!!!! oh if only we understand the basics...the 10 commandments, His forgiveness, the wonders of His mercy...let's get back to the basics!!!! let's stop pretending to be more spiritually mature than we are by being prideful and turning up our nose to the "simplicity" of His love. without His love, we'd be doomed for an eternity seperated from Him in the darkest place!!!!

i leave you with a chorus from the song i listened to this morning...may it minister to your heart the way it did mine:

"Your grace is amazing to me,
and Your love is still such a wonder,
and Your cross is still bringing me to my knees, oh God,
You still amaze me....."