i was scrolling back on old posts on facebook this morning, and found where about a month or two ago, i wrote that my daughter (now 6 years old) took her first communion. and while she has never "officially" accepted salvation, i was so proud of her for being willing to listen and pray regarding the bread and the "wine" (grape juice).
she was in the service that morning because our church no longer has classes for school age children. she asked me to take part in communion, and i said that it was only for people who have accepted Jesus as their Savior. she said she had (i don't think she has). i find this funny because deep down, she probably just wanted the juice and cracker. but i took this opportunity very seriously to share with my small child what a real communion was all about. when the crackers were passed out, i shared with her the breaking of Jesus' body. when the juice was distributed, i explained His blood. we prayed before and asked forgiveness of our sins, we prayed during and after, thanking our Messiah for His sacrifice. i was blessed because calli was very serious during the whole thing. in fact, i'm blessed every night when she asks for family prayer time and when she herself prays, when she reads her Bible to me, and every sunday morning when she raises her hands in worship during the music. that little girl, officially "saved" or not, blesses me!
anyway, i noticed on my facebook post about this communion that someone simply commented "1st Corinthians 11:26-30." (note: i erased this post so as to protect the identity of this person) i didn't recall ever reading that, so i looked it up. it states that no one unworthily or unholy can accept communion and that was why so many were "weak and sick" because they took communion, basically, without proper credentials. (without being saved, i.e. admitting you need a Savior, and belief that Jesus was who He said He was and is)
now, i'm not saying that this person meant harm whatsoever. i have great respect for this individual. but it did get me thinking. that morning when my little girl took communion, i wonder what God saw. was it mud i smeared on His Son's death and resurrection when i allowed an unsaved girl to "eat of His body" and "drink of His blood?" was He disappointed or disdained with me? or did He see the heart of a woman who desperatley seeks out to please Him despite her daily failures, and a mother who desires to teach her children His ways and precepts? what did the Father see that morning?
which got me thinking further..what IS salvation? when the original communion took place, there had been NO death on a cross yet! His disciples were merely "saved" because they followed Him, they learned His ways and left all behind to seek after Him. abraham, isaac, jacob, king david, and on and on were "saved" because THEY BELIEVED and had faith in Him. and, in the Bible, it states that unless we become "like little children," we shall not inhereit the Kingdom of Heaven. this was said in the context of having faith like a little child who trusts in his/her parent for their very life. it is not a prayer that saves, it is not a terrible sinful road one goes down and THEN they can be saved, it is about believing, following, forsaking all, and recognizing we are a mess without our Messiah!!!
so, i wonder... calli knows what sin is, she believes in our Savior, she asks for forgiveness of her sins, she has a desire to read the Word and pray...does this mean she's "saved" ?? i guess now, at age 6, all that matters is that i'm teaching her truth and pray that she walks in that truth her entire life...but let's go one step further than a potentially unsaved 6 year old taking communion....
what about the ADULTS that morning taking communion? out of ritual..out of habit...out of pressure from whomever was sitting next to them. were there some in there with unclean hearts? some who didn't ask for forgiveness of their sins, some who had unforgiveness themselves? what about them?
so i ask you..make your own doctrinal/emotional/spiritual/mental conclusion...what pleased the Father the most? the tender young child, praying while a mother teaches her about the sacrifice of a Savior? or the unclean heart of an adult, the judgemental eye of an elder who thought maybe calli was too young to participate? i don't personally know what He thought, but what i do know is that i have two little girls and my own heart who desires to please Him..and for now, today, that's all i need to know.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
toothless is beautiful!
calli's top right tooth has been loose for about a month. A MONTH! do you know what it's like to have a 6 year old with a very very loose tooth for about a month..too loose for it not to wiggle around and not loose enough for it to come out. it's a daily conversation of "mom, when can you pull my tooth out?" "not yet honey" "UGH, WHEN MOM, WHEN?????!!!!!!"...which is then followed by me yelling "I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWW" ....i mean seriously. 30 days of this and you'd be yelling too.
after looking at her sideways tooth all day, david decided it was time to pull. he yanked, and jerked and POP! out came the tooth, and a little 6 year old girl was very very happy. mind you, she does NOT want the tooth fairy to have it for money..... "it can't be sold, mommy!"... apparantley we'll be keeping this one.
and of course spoken like a true girl she says, "i want to go look in the mirror!" after several minutes of inspecting her toothlessness, she came out of the bathroom proclaiming, "I LOOK WEIRD!" i laughed and teased of course, because that's just the type of wonderful mother i am! but david, no david wouldn't have any of it. he was insistent on telling her, "no you don't look weird! you're beautiful! everyone loses teeth..you look just beautiful!"
fast forward 10 minutes as he tucks her in bed and still calli says she looks weird, and still her daddy says, "no baby, you're beautiful. you don't look weird."
ahhhh...what a sweet reminder of what my Savior says to me when i say, "i sinned! i'm dirty! i look weird!!" He does just what david did to his daughter..."no darlena, you don't look weird. you're beautiful. I have forgiven you, you are cleansed by My blood."
so a big thanks to an amazing father for reminding me of my amazing Father in Heaven.
after looking at her sideways tooth all day, david decided it was time to pull. he yanked, and jerked and POP! out came the tooth, and a little 6 year old girl was very very happy. mind you, she does NOT want the tooth fairy to have it for money..... "it can't be sold, mommy!"... apparantley we'll be keeping this one.
and of course spoken like a true girl she says, "i want to go look in the mirror!" after several minutes of inspecting her toothlessness, she came out of the bathroom proclaiming, "I LOOK WEIRD!" i laughed and teased of course, because that's just the type of wonderful mother i am! but david, no david wouldn't have any of it. he was insistent on telling her, "no you don't look weird! you're beautiful! everyone loses teeth..you look just beautiful!"
fast forward 10 minutes as he tucks her in bed and still calli says she looks weird, and still her daddy says, "no baby, you're beautiful. you don't look weird."
ahhhh...what a sweet reminder of what my Savior says to me when i say, "i sinned! i'm dirty! i look weird!!" He does just what david did to his daughter..."no darlena, you don't look weird. you're beautiful. I have forgiven you, you are cleansed by My blood."
so a big thanks to an amazing father for reminding me of my amazing Father in Heaven.
Monday, September 19, 2011
eatin' gravel
a year ago yesterday....the morning of my nephew's wedding, i went jogging. it was early morning, my husband was at work, and my girls, my mom, and my brother were all still sleeping when i slipped outside for some cardio. on the run back to the house, i was enjoying the sound of my tennis shoes on the pavement when the next thing i know, i'm tripping over my own foot, and i fall. on my face.
i remember being eye level with road and rocks and asphalt, staring at the yellow line that divided the lanes. adrenaline shot through my system, but not enough to keep the stinging pain of road burn at bay. i knew i was hurt badly but had to force myself to get up, i still had another mile and half to go before i got back home. i kept telling myself "you're okay, darlena. you're okay. you're okay....i'm okay, i'm okay, i'm okay...darlena, you're okay...."
the walk home was agonizing. thankfully, i caught my body with my hands, so my face and head were saved, but the left side of my body was not so lucky. road rash stung, and with the cool september wind, every breeze was killing me. through tears, shortness of breath, and a lot of "you're okay, darlena," i made it home. i was hoping someone would be awake and help me with cleaning the rock and gravel out of my wounds. it would have been a nice release to finally cry like a small child over a skinned knee, but unfortunatley, everyone was still sleeping when i got home. my palms were injured, my elbow was bleeding profusley, my hip and thigh were raw, and there i stood at the kitchen sink washing all of it, alone and in pain..."it's okay darlena, i'm okay, i'm okay, this is okay".....
.....that wasn't the only time i've fallen on my face in this life, had to force myself back up because i had to, no matter how painful, tell myself it's okay, and make the journey back to where i started. or maybe where i started wasn't where i was headed, but i had to keep going no matter what. it wasn't the first time i've had to nurse my own wounds because i felt alone and in pain with no one there to help.
but the truth is, i was never alone. not the day i fell on the road in north carolina, or any of the other times i've fallen on the road of life. the bandaids i apply to my soul are Scriptures from God's Word..only, unlike natural bandaids that only cover the hurt, the Bible has the power to cover AND heal. i'm so thankful for a Savior who says to me, "you're okay, darlena. you're okay, I'm here...you're okay, I am with you," who cleans my wounds when i don't have the strength to, who picks the rocks out of my heart after falling on the ground. i may fall, but it's not me that has the power to get back up, it's He who lives inside of me.
i remember being eye level with road and rocks and asphalt, staring at the yellow line that divided the lanes. adrenaline shot through my system, but not enough to keep the stinging pain of road burn at bay. i knew i was hurt badly but had to force myself to get up, i still had another mile and half to go before i got back home. i kept telling myself "you're okay, darlena. you're okay. you're okay....i'm okay, i'm okay, i'm okay...darlena, you're okay...."
the walk home was agonizing. thankfully, i caught my body with my hands, so my face and head were saved, but the left side of my body was not so lucky. road rash stung, and with the cool september wind, every breeze was killing me. through tears, shortness of breath, and a lot of "you're okay, darlena," i made it home. i was hoping someone would be awake and help me with cleaning the rock and gravel out of my wounds. it would have been a nice release to finally cry like a small child over a skinned knee, but unfortunatley, everyone was still sleeping when i got home. my palms were injured, my elbow was bleeding profusley, my hip and thigh were raw, and there i stood at the kitchen sink washing all of it, alone and in pain..."it's okay darlena, i'm okay, i'm okay, this is okay".....
.....that wasn't the only time i've fallen on my face in this life, had to force myself back up because i had to, no matter how painful, tell myself it's okay, and make the journey back to where i started. or maybe where i started wasn't where i was headed, but i had to keep going no matter what. it wasn't the first time i've had to nurse my own wounds because i felt alone and in pain with no one there to help.
but the truth is, i was never alone. not the day i fell on the road in north carolina, or any of the other times i've fallen on the road of life. the bandaids i apply to my soul are Scriptures from God's Word..only, unlike natural bandaids that only cover the hurt, the Bible has the power to cover AND heal. i'm so thankful for a Savior who says to me, "you're okay, darlena. you're okay, I'm here...you're okay, I am with you," who cleans my wounds when i don't have the strength to, who picks the rocks out of my heart after falling on the ground. i may fall, but it's not me that has the power to get back up, it's He who lives inside of me.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
what's the point in having faith????
a woman's mother passed away tragically this morning of cancer. in speaking with someone who knows the friend, we bounced back the "whys" and the "i don't understands." the point was made that if God is in control anyway, why should we even have faith at all? why hope for a positive outcome, when God's sovereign will is going to prevail anyway? i've been thinking about this all day since our conversation.
first off, let me say that i am not, in any shape, form, or fashion one of those people that says "you shouldn't ask God 'why?'" in fact, that statement infuriates me! if we are to abide by His Word, to live for His purpose and glory, then we are to have a relationship with Him. and if we are to have relationship with Him, then we converse with Him and nothing is hidden from Him anyway..so even if you're thinking 'why?' in your heart, He already knows. so why not ask why? we may not get the answer we want, heck, we may not ever get an answer this side of the Kingdom...but i think it's okay to ask your Creator, your Savior, 'why?' when bad things happen. i even ask 'why?' when good things happen! okay, so now that that's out of the way....
so i've been thinking all day...what's the purpose? what's the reason in hope, in faith that people will be healed, that broken hearts become mended, that something will go our way..when all along, God is going to decide what is best either way, whether we like it or not?? i think it's important to understand that God's outcomes are not always what we think is perfect. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and My ways are not your ways." Isaiah 55:8. we don't see the big picture. we don't know the beginning from the end as our Father in Heaven does. if we were to choose how everything went in our life, it would be a huge mess, simply because we can't understand how our situations today would effect our future. Only a Soverign God could know that.
so i have come up with this; having faith and hope and trust isn't and shouldn't be about having a belief in how we want things to turn out. yes, we want God to heal our loved ones, yes, we want and believe God to make things right when storms come in our lives...but wanting God to do something isn't about faith, it's about a sense of control. true faith is, "okay God, i want this, or i need this. but if what i want, and if what i need do not line up with Your plan and Your will for me, then i'm okay. and i accept it. and i pray that as Your will is carried out in my life, that You would give me the strength to handle whatever Your will entails. and i'm going to hope and trust and have faith for the best, but i believe in You, and what You're going to do with me and through me during my trials. so even if things don't go how i want them to, how i pray they would, then it's okay. have Your way with me."
easier said than done? yes. but at the risk of sounding extremely cliche, our Father never promised us an easy road, but He HAS PROMISED that He will never ever ever ever leave or forsake. and that "ALL things work together for good to those who love God, and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
let's not every forget Job...who told his wife that he should curse God because of his trials. and instead he tells her that we shouldn't just accept the good from God in life, we must accept the bad too. my conversation bud this morning wasn't mad at God, so please don't think i'm telling you she had a bad attitude. but, she is broken hearted at seeing her friend go through this. her friend, who is a believer, and comes from a spiritual home. i know so many who are broken hearted for others and don't understand why they have to go through what they go through, but i believe in His promises. and i pray that you do too.
first off, let me say that i am not, in any shape, form, or fashion one of those people that says "you shouldn't ask God 'why?'" in fact, that statement infuriates me! if we are to abide by His Word, to live for His purpose and glory, then we are to have a relationship with Him. and if we are to have relationship with Him, then we converse with Him and nothing is hidden from Him anyway..so even if you're thinking 'why?' in your heart, He already knows. so why not ask why? we may not get the answer we want, heck, we may not ever get an answer this side of the Kingdom...but i think it's okay to ask your Creator, your Savior, 'why?' when bad things happen. i even ask 'why?' when good things happen! okay, so now that that's out of the way....
so i've been thinking all day...what's the purpose? what's the reason in hope, in faith that people will be healed, that broken hearts become mended, that something will go our way..when all along, God is going to decide what is best either way, whether we like it or not?? i think it's important to understand that God's outcomes are not always what we think is perfect. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and My ways are not your ways." Isaiah 55:8. we don't see the big picture. we don't know the beginning from the end as our Father in Heaven does. if we were to choose how everything went in our life, it would be a huge mess, simply because we can't understand how our situations today would effect our future. Only a Soverign God could know that.
so i have come up with this; having faith and hope and trust isn't and shouldn't be about having a belief in how we want things to turn out. yes, we want God to heal our loved ones, yes, we want and believe God to make things right when storms come in our lives...but wanting God to do something isn't about faith, it's about a sense of control. true faith is, "okay God, i want this, or i need this. but if what i want, and if what i need do not line up with Your plan and Your will for me, then i'm okay. and i accept it. and i pray that as Your will is carried out in my life, that You would give me the strength to handle whatever Your will entails. and i'm going to hope and trust and have faith for the best, but i believe in You, and what You're going to do with me and through me during my trials. so even if things don't go how i want them to, how i pray they would, then it's okay. have Your way with me."
easier said than done? yes. but at the risk of sounding extremely cliche, our Father never promised us an easy road, but He HAS PROMISED that He will never ever ever ever leave or forsake. and that "ALL things work together for good to those who love God, and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
let's not every forget Job...who told his wife that he should curse God because of his trials. and instead he tells her that we shouldn't just accept the good from God in life, we must accept the bad too. my conversation bud this morning wasn't mad at God, so please don't think i'm telling you she had a bad attitude. but, she is broken hearted at seeing her friend go through this. her friend, who is a believer, and comes from a spiritual home. i know so many who are broken hearted for others and don't understand why they have to go through what they go through, but i believe in His promises. and i pray that you do too.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
"this is how we should pray for others, as if it was happening to us"
i am apart of a secret group created by my brother on facebook called "the hiding place." it is strictly for myself and my siblings to post prayer requests, silly memories, or something that is weighing heavily on our hearts. this morning, my sister posted a prayer request for a friend of her's who is dealing with an ailing mother. my brother derek, with wisdom and compassion far greater than most, made the comment, "this is how we should pray for others, as if it were happening to us."
i'm not sure why, but i sat and stared at that sentence for a long time. i was reminded of Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." have you ever done that? i'm sure you have; shared joy with another, or cried when you saw someone crying. maybe because you truly felt their pain, or maybe because seeing them hurt broke your heart. joy and tears can be contagious...but can we really say that when we pray for them, when we pray about anything, that we pray as if that very thing in their lives, or in the world, is happening to us? frankly, i'm not sure i can.
when we pray for hungry mouths to be fed, are we fervent enough in our prayers to seek the face of the Father and cry out for justice and mercy? or do we say a simple prayer like, "oh God, help them." yes, He hears those prayers also..but it's the heart behind the prayers that matters the most. how about when we ask that someone be healed from something? do we dare take it upon ourselves to put our bodies in their shoes and pray earnestly for a touch from the healing hand of a Savior?
what about when a friend is infertile, someone has lost their home in a fire, best friends get a divorce, a family member has a broken relationship with their child, a close relative has cancer, a nation devastated by disaster, famine, genocide? do we stay on our knees, with hands lifted high, pleading on others' accounts for the Creator of all to hear our prayers? do we care that much about one another that we are willing to enter the throne room of Heaven in order for the longings of others hearts to be fulfilled? we should. it's Biblical. when we say we "i'll pray for you" ....never underestimate the power of those words. take it seriously, because if someone is asking for prayer, you might be the only one listening. it could be your very prayer that is lifted up that causes a change in a situation. it could be your heart, your earnesty, your ferverncy, that could change a life.
what about one of the most important prayers of all? praying for the lost? i know that we can't pray as *if* we were lost, but we can pray as if we're going to hell right along side our friends, our neighbors, our co-workers. to put our loved ones, nations, people-groups in the face of God on a daily basis, pleading for the work of His Spirit to penetrate their hearts, is an act of pure love. if no man comes to the Father except by belief in Jesus and that He and He alone is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6) , then why do we have such complacency when it comes to praying for others' salvation? there are so many unbelievers that pass our way every single day..and what are we doing about it? religions as a whole, going to hell because of their lack of faith, people dying daily thinking they were "good enough" in this life so Heaven is an obvious place for them. WAKE UP PEOPLE! WHY ARE WE NOT IN FERVENT, NEVER-CEASING PRAYER?????????
my plea today, to myself and to you, is that we start praying with more passion. more love, more mercy, more hunger to see God work in ways that only He can. i ask that we pray for other's spiritual, physical, and emotional lives as if they were our very own. "this is how we should pray for others, as if it was happening to us"
i'm not sure why, but i sat and stared at that sentence for a long time. i was reminded of Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." have you ever done that? i'm sure you have; shared joy with another, or cried when you saw someone crying. maybe because you truly felt their pain, or maybe because seeing them hurt broke your heart. joy and tears can be contagious...but can we really say that when we pray for them, when we pray about anything, that we pray as if that very thing in their lives, or in the world, is happening to us? frankly, i'm not sure i can.
when we pray for hungry mouths to be fed, are we fervent enough in our prayers to seek the face of the Father and cry out for justice and mercy? or do we say a simple prayer like, "oh God, help them." yes, He hears those prayers also..but it's the heart behind the prayers that matters the most. how about when we ask that someone be healed from something? do we dare take it upon ourselves to put our bodies in their shoes and pray earnestly for a touch from the healing hand of a Savior?
what about when a friend is infertile, someone has lost their home in a fire, best friends get a divorce, a family member has a broken relationship with their child, a close relative has cancer, a nation devastated by disaster, famine, genocide? do we stay on our knees, with hands lifted high, pleading on others' accounts for the Creator of all to hear our prayers? do we care that much about one another that we are willing to enter the throne room of Heaven in order for the longings of others hearts to be fulfilled? we should. it's Biblical. when we say we "i'll pray for you" ....never underestimate the power of those words. take it seriously, because if someone is asking for prayer, you might be the only one listening. it could be your very prayer that is lifted up that causes a change in a situation. it could be your heart, your earnesty, your ferverncy, that could change a life.
what about one of the most important prayers of all? praying for the lost? i know that we can't pray as *if* we were lost, but we can pray as if we're going to hell right along side our friends, our neighbors, our co-workers. to put our loved ones, nations, people-groups in the face of God on a daily basis, pleading for the work of His Spirit to penetrate their hearts, is an act of pure love. if no man comes to the Father except by belief in Jesus and that He and He alone is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6) , then why do we have such complacency when it comes to praying for others' salvation? there are so many unbelievers that pass our way every single day..and what are we doing about it? religions as a whole, going to hell because of their lack of faith, people dying daily thinking they were "good enough" in this life so Heaven is an obvious place for them. WAKE UP PEOPLE! WHY ARE WE NOT IN FERVENT, NEVER-CEASING PRAYER?????????
my plea today, to myself and to you, is that we start praying with more passion. more love, more mercy, more hunger to see God work in ways that only He can. i ask that we pray for other's spiritual, physical, and emotional lives as if they were our very own. "this is how we should pray for others, as if it was happening to us"
Sunday, July 10, 2011
a rant for me, a challenge for you
i don't really care about how one actress wore a gown compared to another. it doesn't matter to me that you have just eaten a brand new cereal and think it tastes great. and i'm still confused why people consistently say, do and write things passivley-aggressivley towards others instead of just telling them how they feel. i get frustrated by people's complaining...God, if people even realized how blessed they are...i get overwhelmed by the world's negativity and the ones who cheer it on, and it upsets me that people can get so upset about where they sit in a restaurant or the fact that their order might be a little messed up. it blows my mind that others can be so jealous, and petty, and selfish, and self-centered on a regular basis...that everything in this world they think is all about them......oh how very deceived they are!!!!!
and more than anything, it breaks my heart that people can see a need and refuse, time and time and time and time again, to do anything about it. for example, last year i started a blanket drive for the homeless in our community...from august to january, i had a sign up next to our time clock at work about it. not ONE person from a building of probably atleast 200 people donated or asked anything about this. (except my sweet friends from my office. thankfully there were many donations from other friends, family, and my church). or take for instance when the tornadoes tore apart our surrounding counties and states. we had a drop off location RIGHT HERE IN BLUE RIDGE for supplies that people were taking to alabama for the victims and their families. it was announced on the radio, in churches, and put on facebook by some peoople, including myself and not one person even responded to it. not one. maybe one person "liked" it...but that means nothing. ACTION MEANS EVERYTHING!!!! it doesn't take a lot of money..even buying a bottle of shampoo would've helped these people!!!
or how about NOW? now, when myself and other colleagues on facebook and through emails and even the newspaper, announce we are collecting backpacks and monetary donations for www.snackinabackpack.org??? ...an amazing organization which stuffs backpacks WEEKLY full of food for HUNGRY CHILDREN IN FANNIN COUNTY!!!! HUNGRY KIDS!!! doesn't that scream something to you????!!!!!!!! but unfortunatley, someone's new haircut gets more reviews, posts, and likes on facebook than something that really and truly matters. so little have even acknowledged this great cause, founded by someone in blue ridge, looking out for the community. yes, people!!! wake up!!! there are still hungry children in america that have homes and go to school!! THERE IS A GREAT NEED TO FILL THE BELLIES AND HEARTS OF THESE KIDS THROUGH FOOD AND THE FACT OF KNOWING SOMEONE ACTUALLY CARES!!!!!!
thank you to the ones who have donated...to the ones who have found this local cause worthy! am i sitting here, writing this, with passion, anger, and tears because i'm tooting my own horn? because i'm better than you? because i'm bragging about my involvement? NO! i am challenging you to look beyond yourself, your pain, your hurt, your own misery, your own little world, your own fleshly and worldly desires, and DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE!!!! give of yourself, your time, your money, your heart, your mercy, compassion, and grace, until there's nothing left!!!!! and i promise you...when you think you've emptied your tank, my Savior, my Father, is always ready to fill you back up again!!!!
www.snackinabackpack.org !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if nothing else, pledge to pray that this organization flourishes and meets the needs of every single hungry child in fannin county! my only desire is to stir you, to challenge you, to realize there's a big sad world beyond your door, and it's begging for someone to make a difference!
and more than anything, it breaks my heart that people can see a need and refuse, time and time and time and time again, to do anything about it. for example, last year i started a blanket drive for the homeless in our community...from august to january, i had a sign up next to our time clock at work about it. not ONE person from a building of probably atleast 200 people donated or asked anything about this. (except my sweet friends from my office. thankfully there were many donations from other friends, family, and my church). or take for instance when the tornadoes tore apart our surrounding counties and states. we had a drop off location RIGHT HERE IN BLUE RIDGE for supplies that people were taking to alabama for the victims and their families. it was announced on the radio, in churches, and put on facebook by some peoople, including myself and not one person even responded to it. not one. maybe one person "liked" it...but that means nothing. ACTION MEANS EVERYTHING!!!! it doesn't take a lot of money..even buying a bottle of shampoo would've helped these people!!!
or how about NOW? now, when myself and other colleagues on facebook and through emails and even the newspaper, announce we are collecting backpacks and monetary donations for www.snackinabackpack.org??? ...an amazing organization which stuffs backpacks WEEKLY full of food for HUNGRY CHILDREN IN FANNIN COUNTY!!!! HUNGRY KIDS!!! doesn't that scream something to you????!!!!!!!! but unfortunatley, someone's new haircut gets more reviews, posts, and likes on facebook than something that really and truly matters. so little have even acknowledged this great cause, founded by someone in blue ridge, looking out for the community. yes, people!!! wake up!!! there are still hungry children in america that have homes and go to school!! THERE IS A GREAT NEED TO FILL THE BELLIES AND HEARTS OF THESE KIDS THROUGH FOOD AND THE FACT OF KNOWING SOMEONE ACTUALLY CARES!!!!!!
thank you to the ones who have donated...to the ones who have found this local cause worthy! am i sitting here, writing this, with passion, anger, and tears because i'm tooting my own horn? because i'm better than you? because i'm bragging about my involvement? NO! i am challenging you to look beyond yourself, your pain, your hurt, your own misery, your own little world, your own fleshly and worldly desires, and DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE!!!! give of yourself, your time, your money, your heart, your mercy, compassion, and grace, until there's nothing left!!!!! and i promise you...when you think you've emptied your tank, my Savior, my Father, is always ready to fill you back up again!!!!
www.snackinabackpack.org !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if nothing else, pledge to pray that this organization flourishes and meets the needs of every single hungry child in fannin county! my only desire is to stir you, to challenge you, to realize there's a big sad world beyond your door, and it's begging for someone to make a difference!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
from november 2010--a love letter to haiti
okay okay , so i've been cheating. first, i copied and pasted someone else's blog on mine, and now i'm copying and pasting my own writing..but from last fall. i went to haiti, to mission of hope. my brother has a desire to also go, and so i thought, for him, and for you, but mainly for me, i will re-visit this time in my life. here it is.. enjoy. :) and i promise..i'll post a new blog SOON. :)
The landing was fast, rough, and exhilarating. There I was, in Port au Prince, Haiti. Exiting the airport I began wondering if we had arrived at the right place. I saw mountains, green lush mountains, and then there was the live music. A live band? In an airport? Had this really been the country that was blind-sided by an earthquake just 10 short months ago? Driving through the city proved that devastation had hit hard. Piles of trash and dirt and concrete gathered at each corner. A mass grave site where bodies were dumped and later bulldozed was just one piece of evidence that sadness had come to live in Haiti. I had prepared myself for tears of sorrow and a canyon full of pity in my heart knowing that I would see these images …but what I saw was so much more. I saw beauty in pain, phoenixes rising out of ashes, people moving on with their lives despite loss. I witnessed laughter, singing, busy market places. I heard a song of humanity that shouted “Tenacity! We will not give up!” And instead of feeling pity for Haiti, I felt pity for me.
Mission of Hope (MOH) did not disappoint. It is nestled in countryside of Titanyen among mountains, flowers, green, and a fantastic view of the Caribbean. It is truly a calm in the midst of a storm. On property I discovered Village of Hope (where the Hope House Orphanage kids will be moving to next week. For every 6 orphans, there will be a “mommy” in their own house to care for them), Clinic of Hope, School of Hope, and the Church of Hope. Our accommodations were humble, meek, and more exquisite than I could’ve asked for. Bunk beds of plywood and thin mattresses proved to be more like summer camp than “roughing it” on the mission field. I was fed well by amazing Haitian cooks that never let us go hungry. We were truly treated with great care. What none of us expected though was a lack of culture shock, a knowledge that while we were on foreign soil, it felt rather like home.
Bear with me as I try to put 8 days of experiences into a matter of sentences (some fragments), as I’m finding it very difficult to write this. How does one use mere words to describe what is so deep inside a heart?
SATURDAY: arrival at MOH (described above)
SUNDAY: Church Day! Free worship, really free worship. We were asked to stand as a lady spoke to us, “This is your home now. You are welcome home anytime.” I cried. Held the baby of a lady whose name was Lydia. Children’s church, then off in the afternoon to MOH’s new property. A land that was given to them by the government of Haiti to build on. Ocean front property with mountains in the distance. Kids coming out of the banana fields from the village. We played games with them, gave them stickers.
MONDAY: Full work day. Painted a concrete fence. Wow, that’s much harder than it seems. Was able to greet many natives as they strolled in and out of the mission walls, either in search of medical care by the Clinic of Hope, or simply getting out for a bit to visit a loved one. Interacted with many students from School of Hope, a girl told me she loved me. I told her I loved her too. I stood in the rain that night. The healing rain of Haiti.
TUESDAY: Village/orphanage day. “River Walk” in a village that morning. There was a bridge, the river, the banana leaves so soft to the touch. Goats and pigs, women doing laundry. A little boy followed us. We arrived in a field of dirt where some boys played soccer. Sang with the village children. A girl named Nadi sat in my lap, she told me “Jezi remen ou” (Jesus loves you). We gave out toy cars for the boys (and some of the older men who enjoyed them just as much) and bracelets for the girls…though most girls wanted the toy cars too. I stood and held a child named Santalynn in my arms. She was dirty and clothed only with an inside out Hanes t-shirt. Walking back to our bus she clung to my hand. “Dear Father, please love her.” “I am, through you.” was the reply I received from Heaven. Oh how I cried at that response….Tuesday afternoon proved to be even more emotional as I walked towards a local orphanage. Good Samaritan orphanage is nothing like its name. It’s a sad place where the kids are barely given enough to get by, despite many donations from MOH and other organizations. I sat under a large tent with a little boy who came running at me, arms open wide. It wasn’t 30 seconds before one of the orphanage’s “mommy” handed off a baby into my already occupied lap. I wept at the limp child that was in my arms. Filthy and obviously blind was a baby girl who was extremely underdeveloped due to severe malnutrition and dehydration. A nearly full set of teeth told me she was at least 1 year old, while her tiny body was the size of an infant. Scarring around her eyes revealed what was probably a herpes eye infection at birth, and probably the source of her vision loss. Had this baby girl just been discarded by Haitian society? It seemed so. I got several different answers when I asked her name, but never got the same answer twice. So I decided the only appropriate name for such a child was “Baby Hope.” I spent 3 hours with Baby Hope that day, praying over her, speaking Scripture and life into her, cleaning her face and picking debris out of her hair. I made her my daughter for those 3 hours, and as she fell asleep in my arms I sang to her “Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong…Yes, Jesus loves you…” that night I attended a 2 hour praise and worship service at the Church of Hope. What peace I had when I looked around and saw hundreds of people praying, worshiping, loving their Savior without distraction, embarrassment, or regret.
WEDNESDSAY: Clinic Day! I shadowed the RN on our team as she performed wound care in the Clinic of Hope. Interacted with many wonderful people, children, and translators. This day was when I realized I must finish nursing school. I’ve got to get on a medical mission team; my heart is seeing the sick be healed. The waiting room for the ER was not one of complaining or whining, but one filled with singing and joy. Our other part of the team went into a village to paint a house for a family who lost their home in the earthquake while others broke ground on several new homes for tent city dwellers.
THURSDAY: Work/Orphanage Day! Painted more in the AM, found out we would be going BACK to Good Samaritan orphanage in the afternoon! Yes! Was so excited to get Baby Hope back in my arms again! Another afternoon of loving on her, kissing her face. Father reminded me that Baby Hope is “the least of these.” Could it be possible that by loving a baby that wasn’t physically lovable, that I was loving my Savior?? I wondered about seeing Baby Hope in Heaven…there she would have sight; she would be healthy and whole. I wondered if she would know me in Heaven. I wondered how soon it would be until she would actually be in Heaven….Thursday night was filled with singing as Reuben, the worship leader at the Church of Hope serenaded us and God with his keyboard and beautiful voice. We sang only 3 songs. One of them was “Shout to the LORD.” I started to cry. I remembered being 17 years old, driving up a cliff on the side of a mountain in a large bus, going to a village in Kenya, Africa… singing these exact same words. “My Comfort, my Shelter, Tower of Refuge and Strength...” God confirmed that this was my own personal mission song. Heard Reuben’s story of the earthquake. He was attending Bible college with 67 students…58 of them died. He told of a young girl who sang “Great is Thy Faithfulness” as she was pinned under concrete, until she finally went Home to be with her Creator.
FRIDAY: Beach Day! The purpose of MOH taking teams to the Caribbean was to show them the beauty of Haiti, what Haiti could be. But to me, I had already seen so much beauty in Haiti that this day was no different. A day of reflection on the shore. What more can I say about a day with sand, water, and God’s ever constant presence? That night I stared at the Haitian sky one more time, taking in all of the twinkling stars. If I could’ve taken one of those stars home with me in my suitcase, I would’ve.
SATURDAY: Goodbye to MOH. I was amazingly strong leaving the place, and it wasn’t until Pastor Lee pointed out John 3:16 painted on a bus that I started to feel the pain of departing. “For God so loved the WORLD, that He have His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” God loves Haiti. He created the beauty there. His presence was there. When our plane took off, I felt completeness. Wholeness. Whatever I was originally called there to do, I did it. Whatever it was, mission accomplished. Was it Baby Hope? Was it hugging the elderly in the Clinic of Hope? Was it painting a concrete fence? I don’t know. But yes, the peace inside of me tells me: mission accomplished.
Please don’t ever forget that we have mission fields right here among us. In our families, in our workplaces, in our own backyards. In local homeless shelters, crisis centers, orphanages, nursing homes, our own churches…these are places that we can all be missionaries. But we also must remember, as my dear friend, Hollye reminded me, God pays no attention to borders. He LOVED THE WHOLE WORLD AND GAVE HIS SON FOR US ALL, not just Americans. His Salvation and Healing knows NO borders. And His love knows no bounds. Blessings, peace, and thanks to all who prayed for me and supported me.
The landing was fast, rough, and exhilarating. There I was, in Port au Prince, Haiti. Exiting the airport I began wondering if we had arrived at the right place. I saw mountains, green lush mountains, and then there was the live music. A live band? In an airport? Had this really been the country that was blind-sided by an earthquake just 10 short months ago? Driving through the city proved that devastation had hit hard. Piles of trash and dirt and concrete gathered at each corner. A mass grave site where bodies were dumped and later bulldozed was just one piece of evidence that sadness had come to live in Haiti. I had prepared myself for tears of sorrow and a canyon full of pity in my heart knowing that I would see these images …but what I saw was so much more. I saw beauty in pain, phoenixes rising out of ashes, people moving on with their lives despite loss. I witnessed laughter, singing, busy market places. I heard a song of humanity that shouted “Tenacity! We will not give up!” And instead of feeling pity for Haiti, I felt pity for me.
Mission of Hope (MOH) did not disappoint. It is nestled in countryside of Titanyen among mountains, flowers, green, and a fantastic view of the Caribbean. It is truly a calm in the midst of a storm. On property I discovered Village of Hope (where the Hope House Orphanage kids will be moving to next week. For every 6 orphans, there will be a “mommy” in their own house to care for them), Clinic of Hope, School of Hope, and the Church of Hope. Our accommodations were humble, meek, and more exquisite than I could’ve asked for. Bunk beds of plywood and thin mattresses proved to be more like summer camp than “roughing it” on the mission field. I was fed well by amazing Haitian cooks that never let us go hungry. We were truly treated with great care. What none of us expected though was a lack of culture shock, a knowledge that while we were on foreign soil, it felt rather like home.
Bear with me as I try to put 8 days of experiences into a matter of sentences (some fragments), as I’m finding it very difficult to write this. How does one use mere words to describe what is so deep inside a heart?
SATURDAY: arrival at MOH (described above)
SUNDAY: Church Day! Free worship, really free worship. We were asked to stand as a lady spoke to us, “This is your home now. You are welcome home anytime.” I cried. Held the baby of a lady whose name was Lydia. Children’s church, then off in the afternoon to MOH’s new property. A land that was given to them by the government of Haiti to build on. Ocean front property with mountains in the distance. Kids coming out of the banana fields from the village. We played games with them, gave them stickers.
MONDAY: Full work day. Painted a concrete fence. Wow, that’s much harder than it seems. Was able to greet many natives as they strolled in and out of the mission walls, either in search of medical care by the Clinic of Hope, or simply getting out for a bit to visit a loved one. Interacted with many students from School of Hope, a girl told me she loved me. I told her I loved her too. I stood in the rain that night. The healing rain of Haiti.
TUESDAY: Village/orphanage day. “River Walk” in a village that morning. There was a bridge, the river, the banana leaves so soft to the touch. Goats and pigs, women doing laundry. A little boy followed us. We arrived in a field of dirt where some boys played soccer. Sang with the village children. A girl named Nadi sat in my lap, she told me “Jezi remen ou” (Jesus loves you). We gave out toy cars for the boys (and some of the older men who enjoyed them just as much) and bracelets for the girls…though most girls wanted the toy cars too. I stood and held a child named Santalynn in my arms. She was dirty and clothed only with an inside out Hanes t-shirt. Walking back to our bus she clung to my hand. “Dear Father, please love her.” “I am, through you.” was the reply I received from Heaven. Oh how I cried at that response….Tuesday afternoon proved to be even more emotional as I walked towards a local orphanage. Good Samaritan orphanage is nothing like its name. It’s a sad place where the kids are barely given enough to get by, despite many donations from MOH and other organizations. I sat under a large tent with a little boy who came running at me, arms open wide. It wasn’t 30 seconds before one of the orphanage’s “mommy” handed off a baby into my already occupied lap. I wept at the limp child that was in my arms. Filthy and obviously blind was a baby girl who was extremely underdeveloped due to severe malnutrition and dehydration. A nearly full set of teeth told me she was at least 1 year old, while her tiny body was the size of an infant. Scarring around her eyes revealed what was probably a herpes eye infection at birth, and probably the source of her vision loss. Had this baby girl just been discarded by Haitian society? It seemed so. I got several different answers when I asked her name, but never got the same answer twice. So I decided the only appropriate name for such a child was “Baby Hope.” I spent 3 hours with Baby Hope that day, praying over her, speaking Scripture and life into her, cleaning her face and picking debris out of her hair. I made her my daughter for those 3 hours, and as she fell asleep in my arms I sang to her “Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong…Yes, Jesus loves you…” that night I attended a 2 hour praise and worship service at the Church of Hope. What peace I had when I looked around and saw hundreds of people praying, worshiping, loving their Savior without distraction, embarrassment, or regret.
WEDNESDSAY: Clinic Day! I shadowed the RN on our team as she performed wound care in the Clinic of Hope. Interacted with many wonderful people, children, and translators. This day was when I realized I must finish nursing school. I’ve got to get on a medical mission team; my heart is seeing the sick be healed. The waiting room for the ER was not one of complaining or whining, but one filled with singing and joy. Our other part of the team went into a village to paint a house for a family who lost their home in the earthquake while others broke ground on several new homes for tent city dwellers.
THURSDAY: Work/Orphanage Day! Painted more in the AM, found out we would be going BACK to Good Samaritan orphanage in the afternoon! Yes! Was so excited to get Baby Hope back in my arms again! Another afternoon of loving on her, kissing her face. Father reminded me that Baby Hope is “the least of these.” Could it be possible that by loving a baby that wasn’t physically lovable, that I was loving my Savior?? I wondered about seeing Baby Hope in Heaven…there she would have sight; she would be healthy and whole. I wondered if she would know me in Heaven. I wondered how soon it would be until she would actually be in Heaven….Thursday night was filled with singing as Reuben, the worship leader at the Church of Hope serenaded us and God with his keyboard and beautiful voice. We sang only 3 songs. One of them was “Shout to the LORD.” I started to cry. I remembered being 17 years old, driving up a cliff on the side of a mountain in a large bus, going to a village in Kenya, Africa… singing these exact same words. “My Comfort, my Shelter, Tower of Refuge and Strength...” God confirmed that this was my own personal mission song. Heard Reuben’s story of the earthquake. He was attending Bible college with 67 students…58 of them died. He told of a young girl who sang “Great is Thy Faithfulness” as she was pinned under concrete, until she finally went Home to be with her Creator.
FRIDAY: Beach Day! The purpose of MOH taking teams to the Caribbean was to show them the beauty of Haiti, what Haiti could be. But to me, I had already seen so much beauty in Haiti that this day was no different. A day of reflection on the shore. What more can I say about a day with sand, water, and God’s ever constant presence? That night I stared at the Haitian sky one more time, taking in all of the twinkling stars. If I could’ve taken one of those stars home with me in my suitcase, I would’ve.
SATURDAY: Goodbye to MOH. I was amazingly strong leaving the place, and it wasn’t until Pastor Lee pointed out John 3:16 painted on a bus that I started to feel the pain of departing. “For God so loved the WORLD, that He have His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” God loves Haiti. He created the beauty there. His presence was there. When our plane took off, I felt completeness. Wholeness. Whatever I was originally called there to do, I did it. Whatever it was, mission accomplished. Was it Baby Hope? Was it hugging the elderly in the Clinic of Hope? Was it painting a concrete fence? I don’t know. But yes, the peace inside of me tells me: mission accomplished.
Please don’t ever forget that we have mission fields right here among us. In our families, in our workplaces, in our own backyards. In local homeless shelters, crisis centers, orphanages, nursing homes, our own churches…these are places that we can all be missionaries. But we also must remember, as my dear friend, Hollye reminded me, God pays no attention to borders. He LOVED THE WHOLE WORLD AND GAVE HIS SON FOR US ALL, not just Americans. His Salvation and Healing knows NO borders. And His love knows no bounds. Blessings, peace, and thanks to all who prayed for me and supported me.
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